Against the clock

15.

Derek stood by the door, waiting for me. He probably heard me pee in the bathroom, but I didn't really care at this point. When I returned, he put his arm around me again and led me back to my spot. Surprisingly, he went back to his side when he set me down. I waited for a couple of minute to speak. 'Derek?' I called out as he sat down.

I furrowed my brow, puzzled by his choice of seating. 'Why are you sitting on that side?' I asked, gesturing towards the spot he had occupied before. Derek's gaze shifted briefly, as if contemplating his decision. 'Just trying to mix things up a bit,' he said, offering a faint, weary smile. 'Figured a change in perspective might help, you know?' I frowned, struggling to comprehend Derek's cryptic comment. 'What? What do you mean, change of perspective?' I asked, tilting my leg into a more comfortable position, the sharp pain intensifying with the movement. Derek met my gaze, his eyes reflecting a complex mix of emotions. 'I mean, sitting on the other side, looking at things from a different angle. I am still maried after all. Maybe she would prefer me on this side' he explained, his voice carrying a hint of exhaustion.

I stared at Derek in disbelief, the gravity of his words sinking in. 'You're worried about what sitting position your wife prefers in here?' I asked incredulously, my frustration bubbling to the surface. Derek hesitated, as if grappling with how to respond. 'It's not about what she prefers,' he began, his tone measured. 'It's just...  Trying to maintain some semblance of normalcy.' My irritation flared, fueled by both the pain in my thigh and the realization that his actions seemed misplaced in our dire circumstances. 'Normalcy?' I scoffed, the bitterness evident in my voice. 'We're trapped in this hellhole, and you're worried about sitting on a particular side? Nothing in here is normal.' Derek sighed, his shoulders slumping with the weight of our shared ordeal. 'Meredith, I'm just trying to cope with all of this,' he said, his voice tinged with exhaustion.

I clenched my jaw, my frustration unabated. 'Coping with this? I've been shot Derek!' I retorted, my voice sharp with a mixture of pain and anger. Derek's eyes narrowed, his own frustration bubbling to the surface. 'You think I don't care about that? You think I'm more concerned about some seating arrangement than your well-being?' he snapped back, his exhaustion giving way to a surge of defensiveness. I winced, feeling the intensity of his words. 'That's not what I said, Derek. I just don't understand why you're fixating on these details when we're in the middle of a nightmare,' I shot back, my tone now more exasperated than angry.

Derek took a deep breath, his expression hardening. 'You don't understand, Meredith. That letter – the one they made me write – it wasn't just a random story. It was about us, about me leaving my wife for you,' he stated, his voice laden with a mix of frustration and vulnerability. I watched him, a mixture of empathy and understanding welling up within me. The complexity of our circumstances, the manipulative games played by our captors, and the emotional toll it took on Derek became starkly evident.  'They are going to think we ran off. They might stop looking for us. My wife is going to think that I left her! Just give me a moment to comprehend this!' he pleaded, his voice strained with desperation.

I sighed, frustration lingering in the air. 'Derek, I get that it's difficult, but we're running out of time. Arguing about where you sit or the contents of that letter won't change our circumstances. We need to prioritize getting out of here, and then we can deal with the aftermath.' Derek's jaw tensed, his eyes reflecting a mixture of anger and inner turmoil. 'I can't just shove these emotions aside, Meredith,' he retorted, his voice strained. 'My life is falling apart, and you're asking me to focus on an escape plan?'

'My life is falling apart too!' I screamed, the frustration and fear boiling over. The pain in my leg intensified, serving as a visceral reminder of the perilous situation we found ourselves in. 'I am getting raped every two days, I just got shot and probably am bleeding out. We need to get out of here!' I screamed at him. Derek's frustration resurfaced, his eyes narrowing as he countered, 'You think I don't want to escape? I'm doing my best here!'