Against the clock

41.

As Derek's lips brushed against my neck, igniting a surge of warmth within me, a sudden wave of clarity washed over my senses. With a sharp intake of breath, I gently pushed him away, my fingers trembling as they withdrew from his back. 'Derek,' I murmured, my voice barely above a whisper, 'we... we shouldn't do this.'

'We shouldn't,' I repeated, my voice steadier this time, though my heart hammered in my chest. 'It's not right.' He stepped back, a mixture of disappointment and understanding clouding his expression. 'I thought... You don't want this?' he asked, his tone laced with vulnerability.

'I do,' I confessed softly, feeling the weight of my confession settle between us like an unspoken truth. 'I just can't.' Tears welled in my eyes as I nodded, unable to find the words to articulate the pain and trauma that still haunted me. 'What the hell are we even doing?' I choked out, my voice trembling with emotion.

Then, with a shaky breath, he reached out to steady himself against the wall, his movements unsteady and clumsy. 'I... I like you, y'know?' he slurred, his words slightly slurred as he struggled to maintain his balance. And in that moment, I felt a pang of sympathy for him, knowing that his confession was fueled more by the liquor coursing through his veins than by genuine emotion.

'I know,' I murmured, my voice tinged with sadness. 'How do you know?' he asked, his words slurring together slightly as he fought to keep his balance. A heavy sigh escaped me as I gently guided him towards the bed, his weight leaning heavily against me. 'Because you've been trying all evening,' I replied softly, my heart aching at the sight of him in this vulnerable state. His lips curled into a rueful smile, a flicker of embarrassment crossing his features. 'Guess I'm not as subtle as I thought,' he admitted, his voice tinged with self-deprecation.

I shook my head, a soft chuckle escaping me despite the heaviness of the situation, 'You're not.' Derek's lips curled into a rueful smile. Despite the awkwardness of the situation, there was an undeniable intimacy in this moment of vulnerability.

With a gentle touch, I helped him sit on the edge of the bed, his weight still leaning heavily against me. His warmth seeped through the fabric of my clothes, sending a shiver down my spine as I fought to keep my composure. Derek's eyes met mine, gratitude shining through the haze of alcohol. 'Thank you,' he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper.

I reached out to brush a stray strand of hair from his forehead, the intimacy of the gesture catching me off guard. As my fingertips brushed against his forehead, Derek's eyes fluttered open, and a soft smile tugged at the corners of his lips. 'You are beautiful,' he murmured, his words a gentle affirmation that sent warmth flooding through me. I blinked, taken aback by his unexpected compliment. Despite the haze of alcohol clouding his senses, there was a sincerity in his gaze that touched me deeply. 'Derek,' I breathed, my voice barely above a whisper, 'you're drunk.' A sheepish grin spread across his face, his cheeks tinged with a rosy hue. 'Maybe,' he admitted with a chuckle, 'but that doesn't change the fact that you're the most beautiful person I've ever seen.'

His words hung in the air between us, filled with a raw honesty that made my heart skip a beat. With careful steps, I moved to his side, kneeling by his feet as I reached for his shoes. The simple act of untying his laces felt oddly intimate.

Derek watched in silence, his gaze lingering on me with a mixture of appreciation and vulnerability. As I slipped off his shoes one by one, I could feel the weight of his gaze, a silent acknowledgment of the bond that had formed between us, however fragile it may be.

As I finished untying his shoes, Derek's hand reached out to gently cup my cheek, his touch warm against my skin. 'Thank you,' he said softly, his eyes searching mine for understanding. I smiled faintly, a mixture of emotions swirling within me. 'You don't have to thank me,' I replied, my voice barely above a whisper, 'I am just looking out for you.'