Against the clock

55.

As I slowly woke up, a haze of confusion enveloped my mind, leaving me disoriented and uncertain of my surroundings. The softness of the bed beneath me and the coolness of the sheets against my skin offered a small semblance of comfort amidst the overwhelming sense of bewilderment.

I blinked groggily, trying to make sense of the dimly lit room that surrounded me. Shadows danced on the walls, casting flickering patterns that added to the surreal atmosphere. My memory felt fragmented, pieces of the puzzle missing as I struggled to recall what had led me here. With a gentle flutter of my eyelids, I dared to open my eyes, the dim hospital room coming into focus. And there, at the edge of my bed, was a familiar presence, a warmth that filled the room with a sense of relief.

I shifted slightly, turning my head to the side, and there he was—Derek, his head resting gently on the edge of the bed. But as my gaze drifted down to his hands, encased in casts, a pang of guilt pierced my heart. I remembered the desperate struggle, the agonizing pain as Derek had fought to free himself from the restraints that bound him. Now, seeing the physical evidence of his sacrifice, I couldn't help but feel a profound sense of remorse.

With growing unease, I scanned the room, searching for any sign of the tiny bundle that should have been nestled beside me. But to my dismay, there was nothing—no crib, no bassinet, no trace of the precious life that should have filled the space with its presence. Had they succeeded in cutting out our baby? The mere thought sent a shiver down my spine, filling me with a sense of dread that threatened to consume me.

As the realization of our baby's absence washed over me, tears welled up in my eyes, spilling over onto my cheeks in silent streams of grief and fear. The weight of our loss bore down on me, crushing my spirit beneath its relentless weight. In the midst of my despair, I felt Derek stir beside me, his presence a comforting anchor in the storm raging within me. Sensing my distress, he lifted his head from the edge of the bed, his eyes soft with concern as they met mine.

Derek's eyes widened in disbelief as he realized I had woken up. For a moment, he seemed utterly stunned, his features frozen in shock. Before I could say something, a sharp, stabbing pain shot through my abdomen, causing me to wince involuntarily. Feeling my pain, Derek's expression softened further, and without a word, he wrapped me in a tight embrace, pulling me close to his chest as if to shield me from the world's cruelty. His arms enveloped me with a warmth that seeped into my bones, offering solace amidst the chaos of my emotions. But despite his comforting embrace, the tears continued to flow unabated, each sob a testament to the anguish that weighed heavily on my heart.

'Derek,' I choked out between sobs, my voice trembling with sorrow. 'Where... where's our baby?' The question hung heavy in the air, the silence that followed thick with unspoken dread. I held my breath, awaiting Derek's response, praying for some semblance of reassurance in the face of our devastating loss.

Feeling the weight of my despair, Derek gently released me from his embrace and shifted slightly on the bed. With painstaking care, he maneuvered his casted hands around my trembling stomach, his touch tender and deliberate. For a moment, the room seemed to hold its breath as Derek's gaze met mine, his eyes shining with an intensity that belied the gravity of the situation.

'She's here,' Derek whispered softly, his voice trembling with emotion. Despite the anguish etched into his features, there was a glimmer of hope in his eyes—a flicker of resilience that refused to be extinguished by our grief.

I let out a choked gasp, my heart pounding with a mixture of disbelief and overwhelming gratitude. 'Really?' I whispered, my voice barely above a whisper, choked with disbelief. The weight of my doubt hung heavy in the air, a shadow that threatened to snuff out the fragile flame of hope flickering within me. 'Because... because I can't feel her.'