Secret

5.Mile - Stalker

Now I am at his apartment again after saving him from park,  the stupid producer. We leave him unconcious in the same toilet where he try to force my baby. You should not drink. Metawin will be very worry when he cant find you now, I said and take his hand phone. I go home first, dont worry,  enjoy yourself, I message metawin with my baby phone. I dont want to make thing worst. Lets clean up,  I said and gently touch his lips. I really love his lips. I have thousands way to play with his lips. I slowly take off his cloth and slowly wipe his naked body. This really drive me crazy. I am sorry baby I said when I cant hold and touch him  with my hand. He look enjoy my attention to his private part. His mouth keep moaning and gasping and its really drive me crazy. After two years this is the first time i touch him like this.  I must be crazy because I really cant control my self anymore. I love him so much. Sorry baby I said but can't stop myself at the moment. I imagine this a thousand of times. I am sorry I said again and again but I really cant stop myself. The view of  me in his sweet mouth making me crazy. The way he is responding to me unconciously make me lost control.  When I close to release myself I quickly pull out from his sweet mouth and release myself on him. I swear this is so beautiful.  When i finally grab myself back, I start to feel guilty.  What have I done. I look at his swollen lips..I am sorry baby I said again and again..I must be maniac. What if he dont like guys. What should I do. How could I treat him like this. After cleaning him again,  I quickly leave him.  I am scare that I can't control myself.

It take long years for big bro finally contact me. I nearly cry. Phi mint , I call him slowly.  What make you this crazy, he ask me. Stop living like a slave, big bro or my phi mint said. I cant, I still need to do something , I said. You have done enough. What ever you try to do, no one can say anything.  I am behind you, he said. Then can I ask to meet you,  I ask again. You are the leader now,  you know how it work. Dont worry, I am used and accept this. We were trained to this , phi mint said. What do you want, he ask me again. Not now, I will tell you when I meet you later, I said. Its big bro, your phi mint already die at his 18th birthday.  Dont make stupid mistake like this , he said firmly.  I know , I said. I used to tease him with call him big bro since I was kids. Now I hate it because, I lost phi mint. But deep down I know big bro is still my phi mint when he replace his name to big bro.  I am sorry big bro, I said calmly now. You are doing fine. I will meet you again when it's time. Dont worry you always will be my favorite nong, he said slowly.  I will, I will make you proud phi , I said confidently.  You already are, he said and end our conversation.  I look at my phone. It take me 10 years for this call. He will always my brother. I dont know how to explain grateful I am. This call also show a sign that I am powerful enough now. No one can say anything to me if I bring bright into my life. Maybe I should start showing myself to him. I need to be part of his life for real now.

Let's go apo said. I look at him but then i ignore his request. I am going to bright concert, if you don't want to follow I will go with my husband, apo said with his teasing smile.  What concert, I ask apo. It's his solo concert reply apo. It's today, I ask apo back. How about his security,  I ask apo even i know apo take him as my priority.  Its as per plan apo said.  Wont you joint us, apo ask me back. Its time for you to show yourself apo said. Should I,  I ask apo. What if he dont like man, I ask apo. I really have low confidence when it come to my baby bright. I really scare. Boss, you are the richest man and the most powerful guy, who will reject someone like you, apo ask me. What if he dont look at something like that , I ask apo. Metawin are perfect candidate but he treat him like his bestfriend,  I said. 
Boss, this sound so wrong. I am not used to this side of you. Love is so powerful. I never imagine this , apo said and sit in front of me. Me too, I said sincerely.  Dont worry, dont you remember how I am before married to my husband, I also acting like aliens,  I don't even know myself that time, but if he mean to be with you, he will found you too , apo said  I look at apo and slowly said, I hope so. It's another weekend,  take your time and I will arrange the safety if you want to go, apo said before he leave me with his concert tickets. 

I have green light from big bro, I am confident enough that no one will question my choice . Its only depend on me right now. I need to be brave and smart. Handling millions business is easier compared to my love life. Sometime I blame destiny to meet him last 3 years. Since I meet him, all my life is revolved around him but I am just like air for him. He dont know my existing . I cant blame him. He dont ask me to give him easy access to his careers. Its my own decision.  I also can't blame him if he refuse or reject my intention. That make me scared. I am scare of rejection. Rejection is the main factor why I delay to show myself in front if him. Its funny but I treat him like another part of me. He always in my life. Since I have been following and protecting him, I felt like a stalker but it make me feel close to him.
What should I do baby, I ask and look at his picture.

12.01.24