Waiting For Tomorrow

Rain

I am just a shell of what used to be, nothing but an empty discarded soul searching for hope in this decrepit world. 

I remember when I was younger, when I used to swing on swings at the park so high as if I were trying to reach the sky. Now i'm here at the park just sitting here, slightly swinging back and fourth keeping my feet on the ground with tears streaming down my face. 

I was glad about how things went with Tyler yesterday, no one had ever stood up for me like that before let alone actually care about me. What surprised me even more was that he invited me to his house.Nothing awkward happened at his house, we just played video games and played with his little sister. 

Anyway, it's Saturday today, another disastrous day. I ended up going back home last night at about 7pm, my parents cracked it at me, they were so angry, they still wouldn't shut up about it this morning so I ended up just leaving again. 

Looking up at the cloudy sky I start to wonder, is there a God up there? If there was why would he treat his people so harshly? Does he despise us? 

I start to feel mere drops of rain hit my skin as the grey sky begins to darken. As the rain gets heavier I ignore it, I don't really care if I get wet, I like the rain. The rhythmical sound of rain relaxes me, I close my eyes and pay attention to every drop that touches my skin. 

"Silva, why'd you leave? I've been looking for you everywhere." I hear a worried mumble interrupt my meditative silence.I look around to sit my 12 year old brother bending down to sit on the swing. 

"I just wanted to get away from mum and dad." I reply closing my eyes again. 

"Why didn't you bring me with you?" He asks.I turn my face to look at him, he has tears in his eyes, my brother means so much to me, he's the only person in the world who I can actually get along with. 

"I thought you were asleep." I reply quietly.

 We go into a profound and distressing silence until Dominick says, "Do you think that mum and dad loves us at all?" Dominick asks with melancholy in his tired voice. 

I look deeply into his eyes, his face full of apprehension. I don't want to hurt him by telling him the truth but I also don't want to lie to him. 

"Dominick...I believe all parents love their children to some extent, they may not show it but I believe they would be nothing if they lost their children, some parents can be really rough and mean, but I believe that is because of their own personal problems rather than because of the children." I lie, my brother is too young to understand that some parents just don't give a shit about their children and I don't want to hurt him even more, I want him to have hope. 

"Okay...if you believe that...then I will too because you are smart." He softly replies. 

The rain continues to pour tremendously and we both just sit there swinging back and fourth in silence.