Waiting For Tomorrow

Whispers In The Dark

I open my eyes taking in the area around me. Oh thats right, i'm in the fucking hospital. I just want to go home, I was trying to die, not come to a stupid hospital.

I sit up and rub my eyes yawning, Tyler, my mum and my brother are still in the room. Awkward, they were watching me sleep.

Wait...who is that, in the corner, it wouldn't be...would it?

The person stands up walking over to my bed. She looks sad, her dark brown shoulder length hair partly over her face and covering her grey eyes. Her shoulders are drooping, she seems tired. She crouches down at the bed next to me sniffling as if she is crying but I can't tell.

"Silva, I um," She quietly and listlessly says as if she can rarely speak, "I'm sorry...about the way I have treated you, i'm so sorry for bullying you and I understand that I never should have done it."

I look at her in shock, Kim is apologizing, should I believe her?

I pause for a few seconds before saying, "How do I know that I can trust you this time?"

"Because the girls aren't here, I wouldn't do anything to you if they weren't here." Kim whispers.

"Why?" I ask, I don't trust her, how could I after the other day?

"Because they're the ones who make me treat you the way I do, they said if I didn't do it then they wouldn't be friends with me, that they would bully me too." She replies.

I look at her, not sure if I can trust her or not, I glance over to Tyler who is practically next to her, he just shrugs.

"I realize that being friends with them for that reason was stupid now because I realize that they didn't really like me, they just liked the person they had made me." She says.

"Did they ever let you do or wear what you wanted?" I ask.

"No, I could only live up to their expectations, I had to wear things that they liked, I couldn't do anything they didn't want and I couldn't talk to anyone they didn't like." She silently replies.

"So are you still friends with them?" I ask.

"Well I haven't left them yet, but I am going to on Monday when I see them," She replies, "But I truly am sorry, you don't have to forgive me if you don't want, I will understand."

I nod and look up at her, "I forgive you, I understand why you did it, but promise me you won't be someone you're not again." I say with a smile on my face.

She looks a bit confused but nods, "I promise."

"If you want, you can hang out with us from now on if you don't have anyone else." I offer.

"Are you sure thats alright?" She asks directing her speech to both Tyler and I and we both nod.

-

"Hey honey." My mum kindly says sitting down on my bed with my brother and dad standing behind her.

I look at them asking with my eyes what they want.

"So, umm, did you know, since you, um-" My mum says but gets cut off by my dad.

"When people try to kill themselves like you did, they are often sent to special camp type places where they will be helped to recover and get better. After what you did we need to send you to one of these places, so your mother and I have been organising it, it is planned that as soon as you get out of here you will be going there for 3 months." My father lets out.

3 months? No, I don't want to go. I never asked for any of this, I just wanted to get away from here.

"Do I have to go?" I silently ask.

"Yes, it is very important that you do." My mum says being wariness of what I could still do.

I look over to Tyler who is sitting in the corner of the room looking as if he feels a bit awkward. "It's not going to make me any better, if anything it will make things worse, I really don't want to go and besides, I hate staying anywhere away from home, school camps that last for 3 days rather than 3 months are hard enough."

"Well it doesn't really matter if you don't want to go, it is still important that you do." My father says getting a bit irascible.

"I know this is none of my business, but maybe Silva is right, I mean, if she does things she doesn't like then it could quite likely make her a bit more unstable." Tyler says standing up and walking over.

Thank you Tyler.

My parents look at each other not quite sure what to do.

"Maybe we could look at it, we can talk with the doctors and see what their opinion is." My mum says.

Yes!

-

My mum is sitting on my bed again, she's crying, she won't stop. I just want everyone to leave me alone, I want to be in solitude.

"I just, I don't understand Silva, how could you hurt us like this?" She cries.

"Are you really that hurt, I mean, I just, I never thought you really cared about me." I mutter.

"You didn't think we cared. What? Of course we care, why wouldn't we?" She asks.

"It's just, you've never had much to do with me, and for example, when you found out I was self harming you only seemed to care for about a week, then you acted as if it never happened." I reply, I don't want to hurt her by saying this, but I really need to work it out.

"Well, we didn't want to annoy you by bugging you about it everyday, trust me honey, we really do care, we may not be great parents but we still care about you." She says.

"What about dad, he never cares, he never cared about my self harming, he has never cared about me." I blurt out ignoring that he is sitting right in the corner of the room.

"What? I do care." He says jumping up.

"Then why do you never show it, why are you so harsh on Dominick and I?" I ask. I am so sick of all of this.

"I just, I didn't want to be a bad example by getting emotional about things, I wanted to come across as strong, and yeah, I can be harsh sometimes, it's just my anger though, it's not your fault and it doesn't affect how much you both mean to me." He says.

I am shocked by his words. I don't know what to say. He actually cares? He has never said something like that before.

Whispers In The Dark - Skillet (ik this song doesn't really have much to do this the chapter but I couldn't think of anything better)

I am not sure if I have the info on the camp thingy right, all I know is people go to them when they attempt suicide so I thought I should add it in to make the story a bit more accurate, so please if you know anything about them could you please tell me (you can either comment or just send a message to either of us authors) especially if any of the info I used is wrong.

Also, Do you prefer the chapters with more complicated words or less complicated words, please comment your opinion