10 years after Graduating from Suppalo, 28 year old Akk meets 30 year old Gaipa.
Akk comes home to Chonburi after running away for 10 years to take care of his ailing mother, hoping to never run into the old friends he now considers the ghost of hi...
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AKK
Looking at Gaipa who had shrunk himself so small in my passenger seat reminded me so much of the way I felt when the Suppalo incident happened. If I could make myself invisible back then, I would have. The usually cheerful boy is now lost in his thoughts and radiating a negative energy for the first time since we've known each other. Noticing the change in Gaipa's behavior when I walked out of the comfort room, I took it upon myself to come to his rescue. Unconsciously introducing myself as his boyfriend just so the couple in front wouldn't think I'm not just being nosy. When Jim and Wen had shaken my hand, introducing themselves, I realized right away who this couple were. The very same ones that made Gaipa pack up his whole life and come to Chonburi. Unfortunately for him, unlike me who had 10 years, he didn't even get to have 1 year not to see them.
Confused by the protective feeling that overtook my sensible judgment, without thought I pulled Gaipa closer to me when Jim attempted to touch him. From Gaipa's story I always had the impression that Jim knows about Gaipa's feelings but just opted not to acknowledge them. It seems I am right as I watch the shock and then the hardening of his expression when I said the word Boyfriend and then again when I held Gaipa close to me and he had pliantly moved himself closer to my side.
His now husband is undeniably attractive. In a very different way from Gaipa. This Wen who stole Gaipa's love is polished and sophisticated, obviously like Ayan, who grew up in an affluent lifestyle. But I find Gaipa's simplicity and purity much more attractive. He had no malicious bone to his body. Maybe this is why I felt like punching Jim a couple of times during the short encounter, especially when he tried over and over again to reach out to touch Gaipa and the insensitive way he had pleaded, no- almost demanded, for Gai to come back to Pattaya.
Feeling lost about how to help him out of his misery, knowing full well that matters which involve the heart usually takes a lot of time and countless self-blames before you can learn to accept them. Walking straight to his room when we arrived after a polite greeting to the elders. My mom had looked at me worriedly and I assured her that Gai is fine, he was just not feeling well because of the heat. My mother asked to go to the room to rest and I helped her after we bid my aunt goodbye. Telling me not to bother waking her for dinner since she's full. I nodded after I helped her to bed and went to the living room, wondering if there's anything I can do for the broken boy.
Later, not being able to concentrate at all at the tv program I had mindlessly tuned in, I decided it was time to try to talk to Gaipa again. Taking out a few cans of beer from the fridge, I softly knocked at Gaipa's door.
A timid voice had called out for me to enter. The room was bathed in the soft glow of the bedside lamp, casting a warm ambiance that enveloped the space. I found Gaipa sitting on the floor, his gaze fixed on the city lights twinkling through the window, his thoughts consumed by the weight of the recent event. The air was heavy with the scent of solitude. His eyes are puffy from crying. He looked so vulnerable, I wanted to take him into my arms and make sure no one could hurt him again. Taken aback by the feelings that Gaipa evoked in my otherwise calm and almost cold personality.
