How I Fell in Love

It Started with Loneliness

I'll start with the first time we met. Which you don't remember, but I do. It was not like it was much to begin with, it only started with a brief interaction. An interaction which may have been the string theory or the universe trying to put us together, I don't know. If you believe in any of that stuff. A string connects two people, but the universe keeps you apart till it's the right time. Then, the two are brought together under strange or coincidental circumstances—something so small as a hello or bumping shoulders.

This interaction was nothing memorable, but after the Wonderland trip, I reflected on it a lot. Questioning how I didn't notice you before. Well... I did notice you just not in a romantic way. You were one of the 'front row', the people that were annoying and loud in every class. The group that the majority of our classmates gossiped about and disliked. But less about that, you are the focus of this discussion.

Our first interaction was sparked with Shannon. I wanted to feel included so I decided to cling to the "Front row's" unofficial leader. She invited me on many occasions to hang out with them, and at the time my friend group didn't exist. We were all just individual friends who eventually formed a large gossiping group, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I felt like a puppy dog following its owner when I was with Shannon. She only talked to me when she wanted my opinion or had a question. Though, Negin attempted to bring me into the conversation a few times.

I was just floating around with them, nothing special and no attachments. Shannon asked if we wanted to meet up with some people. I wasn't opposed to the idea, even if I was, I would've still gone with her. We ran into Ben along the way, and the four of us went together. You were in the large lecture hall sitting next to Ezekiel watching him take notes, saying something along the lines of 'Why not make digital notes, they're easier to find.' I agreed with you, they're a much better way to cheat. Shannon introduced me to both of you, but no one seemed that interested. So I sat nearby listening to the conversations while Ben threw around paper airplanes.

I was very much in my head and a little depressed at the fact my 'friends' were enjoying their dating lives and I didn't have one—a silly thought. So, I just stuck to crushing on people back and forth until it got too embarrassing to talk about with anyone. I was lonely. I had lost my close high school friends, everyone around me was dating or travelling, and I was always floating through a life I wasn't supposed to stick around for.