How I Fell in Love

The Gift Shop

This is going to be a shorter segment.

By the end of the day, we spent at least an hour together by the falls waiting for everyone to finish their rides. They kept getting on coasters and it was ticking me off a little, they weren't being considerate of their driver (you), who would drive everyone back to the school and then have an hour-plus drive to get yourself home. I was exhausted and so were you, we just wanted to leave. We already knew that they wanted to have dinner someplace which would take more time out of our evening.

When they were finally heading back we all somewhat met at the front of the park. I was beginning to lose my cool. You went to socializing with them and I was a little uncomfortable, not at the fact you were chatting, but at the fact everyone was stalling. I needed to breathe, I wanted out but I didn't want to leave you. Every time I do it's like the urgency to leave an event (which is me telling you we should leave) completely disappears. You can honestly lose track of time quickly when nobody is reminding you.

There was a glimmer of hope! We were finally getting ready to leave, could it be? Nope. The hope disappeared. Shannon and Natasha wanted to go to the gift shop. I already had enough. I was not going into the gift shop, wasn't happening again. I did not want the feeling of disappointment and jealousy so I sped walk out the park entrance. You called to me to wait or something, I don't know but I wanted to leave. So I did. When I turned back nobody was following me so I slowed down to a stop. It was a sinking feeling. Gift shops feel like a tease. Everything's pretty and I want to buy something, but it's all so expensive and I really don't need anything. So I just avoid it completely until I can't.

By the time we got to the car the thought of everything started to get to me. But we were going to leave and I could put it all behind me, right? Turns out we weren't leaving until everyone got to the cars, so I sat there waiting again. I didn't want to talk, I just wanted to disappear. Shannon and Natasha came walking by with giant plushies and then Amanda came by with one too. It was a nightmare happening in front of me. I was desperately holding back all my emotions, trying not to weep like a little puppy. When Shannon said she lost her phone and everyone went into a panic it was the perfect opportunity for me to bottle everything up again and compose myself. I had a moment to look away from everything happening, wipe my face and breathe. It all went away when the day was over.

It really wasn't such a big problem. If anything, I feel like I was being dramatic about the whole situation. Maybe I was, but something so small as that creeping uncomfortable feeling ruined the day for me. The same goes for when we went to Wonderland together. I had to endure going into the gift shop. When you said you were getting your mom something my heart sank, I wasn't going to leave your side but I didn't want to go in. I really tried to downplay my emotions, keeping my face calm. You caught on a lot faster since there were no other distractions, it was just us. I hated the idea of explaining it to you because when looking at the whole situation it does seem stupid. I would much rather not face the gift store if it means not feeling disappointed or jealous of others.

Both those trips ended with me feeling upset, more so pissed off? It really clouded the day. But I did get over it once we were far from the park and any thought of the store. It's just in the moment that I break down and want to leave. Regardless, I did have fun and I want to keep this yearly tradition going.