To Love or To Lose

Chapter One

The minutes slowly ticked by as a young tanned skinned boy waited by his phone anxiously. I'll call you when I get home. That was what his lover had told him. But how long would he have to wait? Kongpob glanced at the clock inside his dorm. The clock had always been there, silently telling the time; but tonight, for some reason the clock was loud through the quiet room. Was it mocking him? Proving to him that once again his P'Arthit had forgotten about him? It was after eleven at night. How late was his P' going to be at work?

With a deep sigh, Kongpob stood from his desk. His back ached slightly from how he was laying against his desk for hours. He stretched his back and sauntered to his bed. Laying down on the cold sheets, he was flooded with memories of when his bed used to be warmed frequently with the presence of his lover.

Their love story was popular through the University. The head hazer who fell for the campus moon. It's been three years since then, almost four. The first year was their honeymoon phase. They had frequent small dates and spoke on the phone a lot. They visited the mall most weekends and watched movies in alternating dorm rooms every Sunday. Their second year, although they knew each other better—it was slightly rougher. During the first year all they did was get to know each other. They were sweet to each other and didn't worry about anything else. But months after their second-year anniversary, there was a slight shift. Kongpob would never forget their first argument. He'd shown up unannounced at his P's dorm to surprise him and Kongpob thought Arthit would be happy to see him. Instead, Arthit threw a fit. He was stressed over his work and had been studying all night and didn't want company. For the first time, Kongpob felt the sting of his boyfriend's words and left with a dejected look. The next morning, Arthit called and expressed his apologies and explained why he was so irritable. It wasn't in Kongpob's heart to hold a grudge so he forgive his P and then they spent the day together. But their second year of being a couple landed with many of those small arguments. Something always seemed to bother them.

On a night out with friends; there had been clear tension between Kongpob and Arthit. This time, Kongpob was irritated because his P was being too nice with the female first years. It irritated Kongpob like no other and of course when he mentioned it, his P waved it off as him being too paranoid. They argued about it the same night they met up with friends. Sensing the tension between them, Bright was the only one to speak up.

"I don't mean to pry—or well scratch that. I always mean to pry," Bright said. "But why you guys so tense? Don't tell me, our little sun is lousy in bed!"

The entire table stifled their laughter but both Kongpob and Arthit were shooting daggers at Bright with their eyes.

"Whoa, don't get so upset. You know how Bright is," Knott said, trying to pacify the situation.

"I'm not lousy in bed you asshole!" Arthit snapped. "At least I don't think I will be," Arthit mumbled. Though he mumbled it, everyone heard him and the table went quiet.

"We haven't done that yet," Kongpob clarified, clearing up the questioning looks.

"No wonder you both look so damn angry," Bright chuckled.

"It's got nothing to do with that!" Arthit shouted. "Maybe if you had a real relationship you would understand that couple's fight. Besides, it just a small disagreement."

"What's the good of having a couple fight if you don't have angry sex and then makeup sex?" Bright asked.

Kongpob rolled his eyes. "I'm not talking about this anymore," he said, refusing to talk about any intimate details regarding his boyfriend. It was true, they had not been intimate but they have done some things.

Though Kongpob didn't want to talk about it for the rest of the night with his friends, what Bright said never left his mind. He and Arthit kept silent about it until they arrived at Arthit's dorm room.