The Night I Tried To Leave

It's Not What You Think

I remember one morning at school.

I got off the bus and walked over to the place where me and my friends usually hung out together in the mornings.

 I had a hot chocolate in my hand and I was wearing a grey Hurley sweatshirt and black sweatpants.

My now normal look. 

I looked around and saw my friend Riznu, walking towards me.

I had never been the biggest fan of physical touch but she was slowly changing that for me.

I hugged her and handed her my hot chocolate.

I wanted to show her a gift (which I think was just food, I can't fully remember) that I was giving to a friend. When I handed her my hot chocolate my sleeve went up my arm a bit. 

I hadn't noticed it and took off my bag and set it on the ground. I bent down to get the gift out of my bag.

She took my hand softly and I looked up at her.

She looked nervous, and scared. 

I stood back up and asked her what's wrong.

"Are you hurting yourself?" She whispered

My eyes widened. I took my hand back and shook my head 

"No! Why would I do that?" I said.

She slowly took my hand again and I flinched and winced

"Shit" I thought to myself.

I had forgotten I cut that morning, this wasn't gonna end well.

She rolled up my sleeve and some of the blood had been smeared on my arms (the blood was dry now tho)

I looked at my arm then at her.

I froze, i was shocked.

I yanked my arm back and pulled my sleeves over my hands. I looked at the ground.

I was embarrassed

I was scared.

I felt the tears welling up in my eyes.

"Sadie......... why?" I heard her say.

"I-it's...... I don't know" I whispered.

My voice was shaking, and so were my hands.

"I'm sorry" I whispered.