The Night I Tried To Leave

Not Happening.

Pretty much they thought (from what I was told then, there's more about it when I got out) Riznu was causing me to cut, fast, not eat and all that jazz.

When of course, it was just stupid parents being parents. She's the only reason I'm breathing rn.

I pretty much lost my mind and started yelling at my parents, I said some shit I probably shouldn't have but honestly, it felt right. 

I remember I was on a call with my mom, she called everyday and I hated it.

"I don't understand why I can't talk to the person that saved my life." I muttered

"Okay, well tell me who it is and I'll tell them." My mom said.

I knew if I said Riznu it would turn into this:

"Oh my god Sadie, just get over yourself! She was making you worse and that's why you're there and not home."

So I didn't say it was her. 

"Well, it wasn't you." I said before hanging up.

Look I know that sounds really harsh but Riznu was all I had, I was scared and angry. And now that I learned the rest of the story of what happened when I was out, I'm happy I said it.

                                                                                    ************

I didn't want my dad visiting me at all.

He wouldn't look at me when I was in the ER.

He would shut me down and make it about him when I asked for help.

So why did he deserve to see me? 

I barley answered his calls either, I didn't wanna see him or hear from him.

But, of course my mom brought him to a visit anyway.

 I refused to look at him.

I wanted him to feel exactly what I did.

Broken, angry, confused and like a total jerk.

I didn't talk to him when he asked me questions, I knew if I did I would flip out on him.