Finding Home | ✍🏼

21. Questions and More Questions

- Chiara Romero - 

Apparently, when Luca and I had fallen asleep together late last night, it was actually quite late, and so the two of us had both slept through breakfast and lunch! I was starving when I was told this information, leading to big feast of food for the two of us, and then we went back and huddled back up in his room. 

People had come in and out of the room as we watched movie after movie, but not many people had said much to the two of us. At one stage, Angie had come in and sat with us, but then he was asked to help Gio take stuff to my room, which felt weird. I didn't want to be in my room alone anymore. 

It didn't feel like my room, as it didn't have anything of mine, and it was nothing like the one that we had had at the apartment. That building was really cool because it had windows everywhere and there was an elevator. Everything was big there. The only thing that was big here was the front and back yard which I had barely spent any time in, and I wasn't planning on. 

It was also very cold in this house. Unlike the apartment, everything felt cozy and warm, but it only felt a little warmer under the sheets with Luca. I was under his arm, as I could feel him slowly drifting off to sleep, when I watched Leo, with a bag on his shoulder, walking past the door that had been kept open for some reason. That was probably why it was so cold in here.

Sliding out from under Luca's arm, I slid down the bed, dragging some of the sheets with me, before I was running after Leo. I had to stop him from where ever he was going. I hadn't had the chance to spend time with him since we had forgiven one another. Is that what you say when you both say sorry about something? 

"Leo" I called, trying to be loud, but quiet and unsure if anyone else was still awake or asleep. He didn't turn around, but he did slow down. I rushed after him, calling "Leo" again, in hopes for him to stop. "LEO" I shouted a bit louder, knowing that he had heard me both the first and second time. I was ready to stomp my foot if I had to. 

Maybe I could bite his hand? No, that was wrong and rude. "What, baby?" I didn't like the way he was speaking to me, so when I had come to a stop beside his still body, I took a step back. I immediately shrunk into myself, feeling lost without my teddy. I hadn't bothered to go looking for it as it was too cold to leave Luca's side. 

And, after seeing him in tears last night, I wasn't happy with the rest of my brothers, as I was sure that one of them had made him cry, but maybe they hadn't. I guess I was just angry at the way they were all acting, especially Leo. Leo was being a big Meany to the rest of us, and now, here he stood, being mean to me again. 

I didn't like the person that had had turned into recently. It wasn't the same Leo that had taken me to get Smokey, which, I wasn't sure if she had made the trip here. I hadn't had the chance to ask anyone anything yet, and when I had, it was always "ask Leo" or "Leo would know" and "Why don't you ask Leo about it" but it felt like Leo was still avoiding me, after we had both said sorry. 

I thought he would have been nicer, after the way I treated him at the diner place or whatever it was called. We had both said sorry, and he had been the old Leo, but now he was the new Leo. The one that I was getting used to. The Leo that I didn't like at all. He wasn't my Leo and I was scared of this Leo. 

"Where are you going?" I mumbled, as he crouched to my height to hear me. He sighed, before putting his head down. It was like he hoped that I wasn't the one to find him leaving. I knew he was leaving, because it was the same bag that I had seen him use to put my stuff in when we had gone to our cousins place. He put my stuff in it and it all still smelled like him.

Just like my teddy was starting to smell like my brothers after Sandro put it in the wash. I caught a whiff of a weirdly familiar smell that I had once smelled from Enzo, and now I could smell it on Leo's breath. It was alcohol. I knew that smell from anywhere. I hadn't smelt it quiet this strong, but now I knew that Leo was just like them. 

"Somewhere" when he finally responded, I could smell it heavily on his breath. I took another step back, hitting something behind me, causing me to turn away. "Just me, Chi" and that's when I realized that I had been followed down the hallway. Immediately, I reached my arms up, wanting to be away from Leo. 

As soon as Sandro understood what I wanted, he held me, and kept me further away from Leo. "If your going to go, go" Sandro murmured to Leo, and with that, I had to painfully watch him walk away. Tears streamed down my cheeks, as I reached towards Leo, as he walked down the stairs. "Bubba!" I cried, wanting to have one last hug, but then again, I didn't want to be near him. 

He didn't even turn to look at me, he just kept walking. That was all he did. He walked away from me like I had watched happen time after time. I couldn't stop the cries that left my mouth, unsure what I was even saying. Sandro then walked down the hallway we had just walked down, opening a bedroom that I hadn't been in before. 

I saw a sleeping figure on the bed, and immediately tried to be quiet, but it was no use. The person was already awake and I was sure that they were going to yell at me. "What's going on?" I was then placed down on the bed, crawling towards the person, and as far away from Sandro and the incident outside that I could get. 

I don't know why I wanted to be away from Sandro, but I just did. I was sure he was probably going to leave with Leo, as they were similar. At least, to me they were. They were the oldest. I clung to the person that had once been laying down, and was now sitting. It reminded me of the time that I had climbed into Leo's bed, which Luca had brought me too. 

But now Leo was gone, and I would no longer have hugs or be able to go to him if I had a nightmare. There would be no more Bubba. This just made me cry harder. I was so lost and confused, and wanted to know why he had gone, but I couldn't stop crying. I just couldn't. 

My bubba was gone. 

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thoughts? xx

this was all I could get out for this book after not updating for so long, so sorry if it is bad and short.