Always..

Chapter IX

I don't want to feel vulnerable and I had been a victim too much, I was disappointed in myself but I don't want to be to harsh on him. I was enjoying the comfort I felt in his arms when I knew it wasn't what was good for me. I wanted to leave, I had to-but when? Next month, next week, in a few days..now?

It was around 8 in the evening and everyone had departed once I turned down the request to go out for pizza, I wasn't too hungry my stomach was still fluttering as if it were on cloud 9, thankfully they understood. I sat cross legged for a while contemplating, I opened my laptop screen the apple glowing as it loaded. I searched plane, train, any transport ticket I could find and used my card to pay for it. It was the beginning of my new travels, I was shaking and I felt sick but I felt too grounded here- I wanted to do something with myself, something outside the box and exciting- I need this, I convinced myself.

Pulling a suitcase out from under the stairs I quietly wheeled it to my bedroom pulling out handfuls of clothes from drawers and various shoes stuffing them in. I threw in my make up, jewelry, products and dug out my passport. I tucked my laptop and chargers into my brown shoulder bag and sat down to assess what I was actually doing, was there any point? I'd already paid the ridiculous amount of money. Was I really just going to leave so hastily? They were leaving and soon I'd be left here again with nothing to do, my friends has already left and well I don't know; Niall will be alright, he has that girlfriend.

I wrote a note for my mum and waited until she went to bed around half 9. Just for caution I waited another half an hour before taking my luggage downstairs and running in and giving her a swift peck on the forehead.

"I'll see you soon" I smiled and tip-toed down the stairs. Putting the note on the kitchen side, I took one of the flowers from the vase in the living room putting it in a cup of water next to my note- I wanted her to smile, not be sad. She'd support me all the way.

I called a taxi and made sure none of the girls across the road were going to attack the vehicle before loading my suitcase in the back and climbing in, staring at the both the houses I'd known for so long.

"Where to, miss?" The cabbie looked friendly and gave me a reassuring smile, I wanted this, I was doing the right thing. I kept thinking about that kiss then that I was leaving 4 good friends behind..

"The airport please" Putting the headphones into my ears the car started up and I blocked out the world with the sound of music.

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I cuddled up in the seat I was in. Thankfully I was next to the window a girl and her boyfriend next to me. I used my folded up jacket as a pillow and listened to the safety announcements. My phone was buzzing and it was about half 10 at night, I checked it quickly before putting it onto aeroplane mode.

There were Twitter notifications, lots of them. My account had been found. As well as my Facebook and snapchat, Instagram and tumblr. I didn't have any privacy.

My eyes shot open when my body felt like someone was shaking me awake. I thrashed about for a second before realising it was just the plane landing and my cheeks were burning as the couple next to me gave sly looks. Already embarrassed myself on forge in grounds.

Once composed and the plane had landed without setting alight, thank god. I grabbed my bag, slinging it over my shoulder and exited the plane pushing my way through crowds of people.

I can't help but think to myself that it would be nice to see someone shouting my name holding one of those cheesy ass signs waiting for the other to run at them so they can twirl them around in front of an audience of jet lagged strangers.

Oh well. I need to sort out somewhere to stay. Turning back on my phone, it buzzes uncontrollably with floods of mentions and I dare not open any app but to look for a hotel. I book a local premier inn and call a cab. I'm proud of myself but so nervous. Why did I do this, impulse leaving to the extreme.

As I climb into the taxi a man with a camera shouts something.

"Oi Hun, Ashlyn is it? Give us a grin love" the accent is funny but he looks menacing, I turn back around and keep my head down all the way to
the hotel and till I'm safely in my room.
What have I done?
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A/N - it'd be fab if you could check out my new work 'Scandalous Prince' it's taken me a while to get the first chapter right 😂'