Always..

Chapter VIII

My breathing was ragged the sobs escaping my lips were uncontrolable. I hate crying. I hate crying around people. I was letting my feelings out when no-one was around and I was honestly fine with that but I couldn't help but feel someone was on the other side of the door hearing my pathetic sniffs as I thought a boy like Niall Horan would wait around for a girl like me to launch herself at him.

I reached out my hand and tapped the door gently. I waited and sure enough a few seconds later a tap could be heard from someone on the other side of the door. One part of me felt the need to be left isolated from anyone although I another wanted to be comforted but I was picky, I'd only ever loved Ni comforting me. My mind needed to shut him out because it hurt when I thought he forgot me when he left for 3 years but to be replaced even if it's partly my fault, i'm pissed off, and allowed to be upset.

"Who's there" I sniffed voice barely audible trying to cover the fact I was sobbing my heart out on a bathroom floor.

"Niall" My blood boiled, racing through my veins faster as I mustered the energy to even talk to him.

"Piss off" It came out blunt, the way I wanted. I didn't want to cave into him. Not after seeing that.

"Don't be like that Ash" He affirmed. "Why are you crying? You don't cry" No shit, how dare he.

"I'm human. Humans cry." I argued. Having to stop myself from blurting my feelings for him wasn't that difficult when I remembered the way he held her stationary on top of him. Don't think about it. Remember how far you built up your walls Ashlyn.

"Open the door" His voice coos sweetly. I wont give in, he's messed it up.

"No. Go back to your girlfriend" Proudly standing my ground. On the other side of the door you can here him standing up and walking down the hallway back into the bedroom the door shutting quietly. He actually did it. He didn't even try anymore than 'open the door'. I'd really lost him, he's changed and I don't think I like it.

An hour later I emerged from the bathroom persuaded by Liam and Louis saying we'd stay at mine instead in attempt to keep the Horan's house clean from these excitable boys. I liked that idea of being in safe distance of not running into him so easily. But I don't know if my mum would like a trashed house but I was warming to these guys fast.

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We sat around in my front room having to slyly get acorss the road with help from one of the security men who also offered to stand watch outside my house in case any girls caught on and tried breaking in. I declined not wanting to draw any more attention to myself than having 4/5  boyband members in my front room staying over. None of them brought up what had previously happened between Niall and bimbo. I don't have the will to be nice to her, or him.

"So" I begin, "Uh who's Ni- I mean Niall's new girlfriend?" Chewing on a slice of pizza I take in each of their expressions one more nervous than the last, i'd rather get the gossip on this than be in the dark about it. Harry is the first to speak up running his hand through his hair a habit Niall has when he's nervous. Mind, just don't.

"It's not really our place to say" It's not convincing they're trying to hide it looking between them mustering for something to say.

"Like i'm going to ask Niall about it, I don't want to talk to him" I coaxed wanting to find out about her. I could try and guilt trip them?

"Julianna" Louis blurts Zayn hitting him in the arm, followed by Louis complaining.

"How longs that been going on for?" I continue in gather information.

"Nearly half a year now" The air in the room thins and I lose my appetite. They're giving me anxious looks everyone desperate to change the subject and at this point so am I. How didn't I know. Is this why he's been apologising? Why didn't he saying anything sooner? Is this betrayal?

"So, lets do something tomorrow?" Liam insisted, it was agreed but in the meantime that we were unconditionally bored. I mean Game of Thrones wasn't even cutting it. We were all legal to drink yet mum didn't really keep alcohol in the house cause even she rarely drunk and we were too lazy to go into town at this time. Zayn speaks up next followed by Louis

"Theres alcohol at Niall's"

"Well, go get it?"

"I'll go with him!" 5 minutes later a very giddy Harry and Zayn skid back through the door with different bottles of liquor, grins from ear to ear proud of their little expedition. We all applauded and cheered as they retrieved plastic cups from the kitchen pouring out the drinks. I was ready to forget that my once best friend couldn't share information of a new girlfriend.

An hour into drinking cup after cup exceeding the urges to pee Liam pulled out his phone holding their music that was soon to be released as a CD- Midnight Memories and put it in letting the music play but not too loudly as to give everyone on the street an earful of their new works. We all got into it aided only slightly by our intoxication. I forgot about my blue eyed best friend or whatever he is and his new girlfriend and danced around my house with Liam Payne, Louis Tomlinson, Zayn Malik and Harry Styles drinking and giving each other piggy backs listening to them sing. I haven't spend long with them but they feel like good friends and i'm glad to have met such decent people who aren't egotistical.

As I sat with the boys I knew I could talk to, talking to them about Niall I think was too close to home. Not as close as all the things Niall and that girl could be doing right now but I guess I need to pretend not to care. I was told about their tours and meet and greets, how amazing and supportive their fans were. It sounded nice, and fun. I don't think I knew fun anymore..