matchi matcha

01 : don't lose yourself along the way

“Do I have to always care and understand them?” Amid the seashore, I was sitting alone, looking at the fine sunset in front of me. I was flicking the white sand that was covering my feet, asking myself the same question every time people misunderstood me.

My mother had an outburst and I became her emotional punching bag after that. Every time I arrive at our house, she'll welcome me with so much hatred and disgust. On the other hand, I understand her so well.

“Who would love someone who's a child of her husband's mistress?” A forced smile flashed into my face. I never wished to be born too. I also hate the fact that I am the fruit of my father's sin who died years ago.

Lost in my thoughts, a one call brought me back to life. I picked up my cellphone and looked at the screen. It was my boyfriend, Iscaleon. I answered it after a few seconds. And his loving voice immediately filled my heart.

“Hi, love! It took you a few seconds to answer my call. Are you busy?”

I burst into tears after hearing that. He's the only person who comforted me and made me feel at home. I bit my lips to hide the fact that I was crying again.

“Love... Are you okay?” His energetic voice became a worried voice in just a snap. I looked at the sunset once again before answering him. “Y-yes, love. I am okay!”

“You can't fool me, Amari.” I looked at the back and I saw him holding his phone while looking at me with so much gentleness. I almost dropped my cellphone but before I could react, he already hugged me so tight that my traitor eyes didn't even hold my tears back.

He caressed my hair and said, “Hush, baby. I am here, okay? You have me. You don't have to take all of our pain.”

“Your pain is mine too so as your love, you may share it with me, okay?” He kissed my forehead and hugged me even tighter. I nodded as an answer because I might break down even more if I opened my mouth.

“Don't let your mother do that to you again.” He said with a serious tone. My forehead creased, how did he know that?

He answered me as if he heard the question in my head. “I saw what happened and followed you here.”

He let go of me and touched my face as if it were the most precious and worthy gem that made his eyes sparkle with love.

“I know how kind you are,” He said and tucked my hair around my ear. “But, love, promise me one thing.”

“I am all ears, what is it?” I asked even if my voice broke.

“You may understand them and care for them with boundaries. You don't have to always be the 'bigger person' who needs to comprehend people who mock your pain.”

And before I could answer, he dropped the most heartwarming sentence that made me realize how much I love him and how much I should care for myself.

“I know how you love your mother but you may defend yourself when it is already causing you pain. Do not let your love for everyone lose yourself along the way.”

—

Short Background Story: This is for someone na bumagsak sa isang subject. Since may pinagsamahan kami, inutasan niya akong gumawa ng isang short story para makapasa siya pero may bayad. Ang kaso, may trust issues ako kaya sabi ko, “bayad muna”. Yet, alam kong isa siyang ‘hanggang sa salita lang’ na tao, hindi niya ako binayaran. Ginawan ko pa rin siya pero hindi ko pinasa. Itong story na ito, inspired sa story namin :>.