Vent/ rant book :3

Tonight may be the night

I don't know if I can do this anymore, honestly, I think it's time for me to actually attempt, I don't care if I'm "throwing my life away" this isn't living, it can't be, I'm sorry if I really do go through with it, because I might, or I'll be too much of a pussy, or if I do attempt maybe I'll survive. It's not like I can talk to people, I'm not good with expressing my emotions, I just know how to get them to stop (kinda), and i might just need time, or this is really my last day on earth, if it is I'm sorry, I need to thank you all for being here, you've all made me feel like I belonged, even if it was just for a second, but schools been too stressful, and barely anyone seems to care, and I wish people could show that they care, but they don't. I have everything planned out, I have the rope tied onto the tree in my backyard, I have the time set up, I have a plan, and part of me wants to survive, and the other part wants to leave this earth forever, but if I do go through with it I hope I do survive, because I wouldn't wanna leave you guys <33333