Ever The Contrarian

"Excuse me, I think there is something in my ear," Mercury said, flustered. She plunged a finger bravely into her ear and swabbed at her ear canals furiously. There was no way she had heard him right...! She was going deaf, oh god! no, her precious ears! She had been hearing everything alright yesterday! "What? no, you heard me right. I need to kill my father to get the crown, and I need your help to do it." the crown prince said, leaning forward, elbows on his knees. looks like he was enjoying Mercury's grand show of denial. "I need your help, Mercury."

Mercury jumped in her chair. Huh?! Too sharp! why cant everyone be dumb! (Or maybe everyone else was dumb and she was just extremely dumb) "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, MY NAME IS RUE!!!" she screamed, and the crown prince laughed. how dare you! this isn't funny! (At least not to her) "I knew all along, of course. I won't turn you in, as long as you help me. It'll be good for you if I win." he said, holding out a hand, gloved and shining in jewels. what the heck! even his hands look rich! Mercury stared at it. Argh! She can't randomly make important decisions like that! (The author can't either so I guess we have that in common, Mer)

But, what choice did she have? only one choice, and the crown prince knew it very well. which was probably why he was offering. "UGH! SCREW YOU! FINE! But, when you do, you have to destroy the guild of Ultreon. Once and for all!" Mercury yelled, and the crown prince leaned in further to pat her head. She hated to admit it, but it felt very reassuring (?????!!!!!) "Good choice. Now, why do you want to take down the guild of Ulteron?" he said, and Mercury leaned back to cross her arms over her chest. Ha! Like she would randomly comply anymore! She was as free as a bird now, because she had confirmed her suspicons!

"How about no. I'm not telling you anything. You just asked me to help you, which means you need me, even if its just as a scapegoat. So, even if I say no to your face, you can't do anything! like kill me! which was seriously a concern before! I can refuse your face now!" Mercury said, a satisfied expression on her face. Ha ha ha!!!! take that! What are you doing to do now? The crown prince pursed his lips, thinking, and then he finally got up. "Alright, fine, I'll call on you when the time is right."

and he promptly walked away. Just like that! What the heck! Mercury sighed, and then yelped as the entire bench, that she was also sitting on, was literally just picked up by 2 butlers wearing suits. "Huh?! Put me down!" she screamed, and they chorused, "Sorry, Miss. We must pack up the garden now since his majesty has left."

"Alright! But put me down!" Mercury said, exasperated, and then the butlers tilted the bench so that she fell right off. like a slug. she just kinda slid off. "Hey! That's not fair!" Mercury yelped, trying to hold onto the bars on the bench, and let herself down slowly. As she fell to the garden, which was becoming a concrete wasteland again in a few minutes, she sighed. What was up with that sicko! oh my gosh! and his butlers were somehow even worse! Slowly, she picked herself off, and, out of habit, dusted off her knees. (even though there was nothing on them.) soon, the dust settled around her, and Mercury was left standing in the middle of the front of the hotel, which had been restored to its previous condition of being a concrete wasteland. Mercury let out a frustrated sigh, sinking to the ground. The cold concrete scraped her, but she didnt care. Bring it on, concrete! do your worst! She was too tired to even think about it. why did nothing ever go her way...? Kill the emperor? whatever was currently going on, that was a bit too much of a stretch. (even with her insane main character luck, theres only so much I can do. *author shrugs.*)

"I... can't do it," Mercury mumbled to herself, staring despairing at the ant scuttling around in front of her. One was carrying a particularly big leaf on its back. Mercury gently poked at it, but she missed because it crawled away hastily. Can't even poke an ant, so how would you poke the emperor with a sword? huh?

then, a hand gently patted her head. She had no idea why, but their hand was boiling and kind of sweaty. (????) Still, it felt nice, and felt a warm spot on her head. Mercury closed her eyes, and then immediately opened them a moment later. who was patting her?! She whirled around and slipped out her longsword, and it darted out to snag their wrist in an iron tentacle. "Ack!" the person said, struggling. Mercury squinted. told you she doesnt have the ability to see in the dark. "Mags..?"

"Yes! Now get this thing off my wrist!!" Mags said, exasperated, and Mercury whipped her sword back into her cloak. Old habits die hard. At least Mag's wrist hadn't died, though. Mags rubbed his arm, where Mercury saw that there were some marks. "Oh my god! are you okay?! Sorry! but next time maybe don't sneak up on me in a suspicious black hood. Okay?" she said, grabbing Mag's wrist and staring at it. "Sure, sure," Mags said dismissively, and Mercury dropped his wrist. Guess it was too heavy for her. "Anyway, are you alright? You looked kind of sad." Mags said, and Mercury sighed. She was still sitting cross-legged on the concrete floor, so she patted the spot of rock next to her. "here, sit down it's a long story." she said, and Mags plopped down next to her, cloak billowing gently in the wind.

one backstory/explanation later... (The author edited this part out coz it was long)

"THAT RAT! I'LL GO BEAT HIM UP RIGHT NOW!" Mags cursed, springing up. his fists were clenched. "Wait! no! We're partners in crime! what am I gonna do about that death sentence if you kill him!" Mercury said, grabbing Mag's cloak and pulling him back. no, no, no! "It's fine! I'll protect you! we can destroy that death sentence together - erase it from the records, you know?" mags said, and Mercury pulled harder on his cloak. "No! stop! how are you even going to do that? It got handed out already! My name is on a wanted poster!" Mercury said. It was like a tug-of-war now. "Mags!!! calm down!" Mercury said, and the cloak finally tore. Mags turned around, and Mercury grabbed another patch of cloak (just in case she needed to continue the tug-of-war). "Calm down! You can't do anything, except help us with this ridiculous plan! please, we need all the help we can get!" Mercury begged, grabbing one of Mag's fists, which was still curled. Mags looked at her for a long time, and Mercury tried to make the best puppy eyes she could muster. Lol, I would have loved to see that. "Alright, fine. Just don't let that rat make you feel sad, okay?" Mags finally said, uncurling his fist and patting her head again. "why does everyone keep patting my head?" Mercury asked, and Mags smiled. Oh god, Mercury! wear sunglasses or something! it's too bright!

Mercury squinted. She was pretty weak to handsome faces. "Anyway, when are you going to meet up with him next?" Mags asked, and Mercury sighed. A very long, tired sigh. Like that of a college student who was up all night studying for finals. the most tired sigh in history.

"Apparently... whenever he needs me." Mercury sulked. As usual, she tripped on nothing at all and lurched forward. wow, what a typical Mercury move. For what seemed like the millionth time in her life, the ground sped towards Mercury's face. She closed her eyes and braced for impact. Owww, her nose was going to be broken at this rate. But, no. The main character's face is just too precious to waste on a slab of concrete. Mags caught her - and they struck the typical super romantic pose. Yesss! her face is safe for another day!

And, on cue, another hooded figure stepped out of the shadows. "Mags. lets go." they said, and Mags let go of Mercury. Then, he reached a hand up to brush a strand of her hair. "Mercury. If you ever want to talk, I'm here." he said, turning around a following the other strange hooded figure back into the bushes, but not after pulling the hood over his face once more to hide it. Mercury watched him leave, and then tried to calm down her wildly thumping heart. Huh?! NOOOOO! MER, PLEASE -

"Hey, shut up, Author. I can hear you. Besides, theres nothing going on between us. Chill. I wont ruin your precious shot at publishing." Mercury grouched waving her hand. The author opened their mouth, but nothing came out. Then they closed it again.

That was the biggest fourth wall break in history.