Splitter- English Version

9. Dead anyway

Hiccup had overheard every word. The door to the cell wings was still open when Viggo and Ryker were talking.Every word stung him. His body burned with pain and anger. He felt as if he himself was the traitor. He was so powerless, so helpless, small, weak and vulnerable."...the dragon is probably already dead anyway..." it echoed in Hiccup's head. "...Dead anyway..."This self-loathing was eating away at him. He was to blame. He couldn't save everyone and now the most important thing he had was taken from him. He should have listen to his father's words. He himself had let it happen and there was nothing he could do about it. He couldn't even say goodbye to his best friend. He was worthless. He didn't deserve to be called dragon rider, future chief of berk or even dragon conqueror. He didn't even deserve to be the son of the great Stoic the Vast. His father would know what to do now. His father would never have gotten involved in this game of cat and mouse. He was the true warrior. A man of hard facts. Hiccup had no idea who or what he even was. He didn't deserve his father's fame. And he had to admit to himself that he liked the game with Viggo up to a point and hated himself all the more for it. But why? He asked himself silently. "Why only me?" He now asked aloud into the darkness. "What have I done wrong that I don't like it?

Why on earth? He asked himself silently. "Why is it just me?" He now asked aloud into the darkness. "What have I done wrong that I am not even allowed to be a carefree child?" "What, gods, do you see in me that has destined me to such tortures?" He asked powerlessly and sobbed. Just for what? He asked himself. While he was caught in this spiral of thoughts, a new thought suddenly flashed out of the darkness. What if Viggo was expecting him to beat himself up like this?

Then he would have an even easier time of it. He would let it all pass without a care in the world because he no longer saw any point in his existence. He wouldn't give a damn about himself and that's what gave Viggo the satisfaction. So many times had Hiccup, Toothless and his team triumphed over him that he savored any self-doubt about Hiccup. Of course he had. How could he have been so blind?But even though he was aware of Viggo's trap, he couldn't hide his feelings and self-doubt. He was powerless, his façade was broken and irreparably damaged.He wept bitterly. No one would come to comfort him. Toothless would not lovingly nudge him, Astrid would not hug him and his father would not put his heavy hands on his shoulders. No one would tell him that everything would be all right. There wasn't even a life form that could tell Hiccup his woes, except perhaps the woodworms cavorting in the ship's walls. He was alone. Lonely. Abandoned. With no hope of rescue.