The Scarecrow's Dreaded Birthday

Chapter 5: Scavenger Hunt

Jonathan woke with a feeling of anxiety in the pit of his stomach. He knew what today was - his birthday. And that meant only one thing - another humiliating celebration planned by his so-called "friends" and coworkers at Arkham Asylum.

After throwing back the covers with more force than necessary, he shuffled to the kitchen to put on a pot of strong coffee. As the rich aroma began to fill the room, Jonathan sighed wearily. He needed the caffeine to face whatever indignity surely awaited him today.

Once his mug was filled to the brim with the dark brew, Jonathan sat down at the small table with that morning's copy of the Gotham Gazette. He took a long sip of scalding coffee, relishing the burn as it went down, before unfolding the paper with a flick of his wrist.

His eyes scanned the headlines, finding nothing of interest in the world or local sections. With another slurp of coffee, Jonathan idly turned to the arts and leisure page, hoping perhaps for a distraction from his foreboding thoughts.

That's when he saw it - a huge picture taking up half the page, unmistakably of him. As a baby. Naked. In the bathtub. Holding a rubber duck. Jonathan's coffee came spurting out of his mouth in a messy spray as he choked in shock.

"Happy Birthday Dr. Jonathan Crane!" proclaimed the caption in large bold letters underneath.

Jonathan crumpled up the offensive newspaper furiously, unable to look any longer at the embarrassing bathtub photo from his infancy splashed across the Gotham Gazette's pages. His colleagues at Arkham Asylum had clearly conspired to obtain and distribute the humiliating image.

Arriving at Arkham, Jonathan strode swiftly toward his patient consultation room, jaw clenched tightly. He hoped to avoid interacting with anyone until his appointments. But he couldn't stop several passing orderlies from calling out birthday wishes and making quacking noises while flapping their elbows like duck wings.

"Word travels fast I see," Jonathan bit out bitterly, sweeping inside the room. At least his patients would have the decency not to mention the mortifying picture.

Or so he thought until his 10 am appointment strolled in - the Mad Hatter. "Well well, happy birthday to the little bath time celebrity!" he exclaimed with an impish grin.

"I don't know what you're referring to," Jonathan ground out.

"Oh come now, it's too darling!" the Mad Hatter crowed dramatically. "You know, I've always found baby pictures most endearing. All those silly little faces!" He dissolved into laughter.

Jonathan slowly removed his glasses, folding them neatly on the table. Enough was enough. Reaching inside his jacket, he withdrew his burlap Scarecrow mask.

"Would you like to see my mask?" he asked softly.

Before the Mad Hatter could react, Jonathan swept the mask into place and hit a button on his wrist device. A blast of concentrated fear toxin sprayed directly into his foolish patient's giggling face.

The Mad Hatter's laugh instantly turned into a shriek of terror. Jonathan watched coldly as the man crumbled to ground, swatting wildly at invisible monsters.

After a long moment watching the Hatter whimper and cower on the floor, Jonathan slowly removed his Scarecrow mask, placing it carefully back within his jacket. He retrieved his glasses and settled them evenly on his nose, observing his tormented patient dispassionately.

"I believe our session is over for today," Jonathan remarked flatly. Without waiting for a reply, he gathered up the Mad Hatter's file and swept from the room.

Safely back in his office, Jonathan sat rigidly at his desk reviewing notes. But his anger made focusing on work impossible.

Abruptly his door banged open, causing Jonathan to look up sharply. There stood the Joker, grinning maniacally with Harley Quinn peeking eagerly over his shoulder. Jonathan suppressed an aggravated sigh.