The Scarecrow's Dreaded Birthday

Chapter 6: Wayne Manor

Jonathan woke up, momentarily confused about why his alarm hadn't gone off. Then he remembered it was Saturday - thankfully a day free from work and the inevitable embarrassment his coworkers would have undoubtedly tried to inflict on him for his birthday.

Swinging his legs over the side of the bed, Jonathan sighed in relief. The last few birthdays had involved rather traumatic surprises - the Chuck E. Cheese fiasco, that horrendous scavenger hunt, and least forgettable of all, the mud wrestling match somehow orchestrated by Bruce Wayne himself.

Jonathan shuddered at the memory. But not today. Today would be peaceful and uneventful, just the way he liked it.

After a quick shower, Jonathan made himself eggs and toast for breakfast. He settled into his armchair, enjoying the quiet Saturday morning with a book in hand.

Around 11am, the doorbell abruptly disrupted his solitude. To his dismay, Joker and Harley Quinn stood on his doorstep holding a large bundle of colored balloons.

"Happy birthday, Johnny boy!" crowed the Joker, grinning beside a bouncing, pig-tailed Harley Quinn.

Jonathan clenched his jaw, prepared to firmly shut the door on whatever nonsense they undoubtedly planned to drag him into. But Joker stuck out a purple-gloved hand to halt its closing.

"Just wait till you hear the good news!" the clown cajoled. "Brucie saw how rotten your last few birthdays turned out. So he's lending us his big fancy mansion and bankrolling an entire party in your honor to make up for it!"

Jonathan simply stared, arms folded across his chest.

Joker nudged his sullen companion. "C'mon Harl, help me out here!"

"That's right, Mistah J!" Harley chimed in. She executed an awkward pirouette, nearly tangling herself in the bundle of balloons. "Brucie's gonna make everything up to ya with the swankiest party Gotham's ever seen!"

Jonathan arched an eyebrow, unimpressed. "And why would a billionaire waste his time and money on me?"

"Why, because it's the polite thing to do among high society!" Joker proclaimed. He crooked his arm as if escorting an invisible partner. "Picture this grand ballroom filled with Gotham's crème de la crème."

Harley snatched Jonathan's arm, waltzing him in a quick circle. "All the ladies will be in glittery gowns..." she gave an exaggerated wink.

Jonathan wrenched his arm away with a huff. But the Joker continued theatrically setting the scene. "The band strikes up a waltz! The champagne flows freely! And the cuisine..." He kissed his fingertips. "Magnifique! Tiny quiches like you've never seen!"

Despite himself, Jonathan found the scenario enticing. Perhaps it was possible Bruce sincerely meant to welcome him into high society...

"So whaddya say, Johnny boy?" Joker extended a gloved hand with an eager grin. "Ready for the most elegant birthday bash you've ever laid eyes on?"

Against his better judgment, Jonathan reluctantly agreed to attend. He didn't trust them one bit, but even Bruce Wayne surely wouldn't stoop to further embarrassing him...right?

___

Joker and Harley led Jonathan up the winding drive to Bruce's mansion. There was not a decoration in sight. "Good," thought Jonathan. "Perhaps this wouldn't be a complete disaster after all."

But as Joker led him inside and threw open the door to the dining room with a "Ta-daaa!" Jonathan stopped dead in his tracks, mouth agape.

Inside, a nightmarish scene lay before him. Paw Patrol banners and balloons bedecked the walls. A huge pile of presents sat on a table, wrapped in colorful cartoon-themed paper with images of Paw Patrol characters, princesses, and superheroes. At the table, over two dozen children craned their necks to see the new arrival.