The Scarecrow's Dreaded Birthday

Chapter 1: Chuck E. Cheese

Jonathan Crane sighed as he poured over patient files at his desk, dreading the end of the workday. It was September 4th, which meant only one unfortunate thing: it was his birthday. Every year, Jonathan tried to ignore the dreaded date, hoping that if he didn't acknowledge it, then nobody else would either. But inevitably, someone would remember and force him to endure an awkward celebratory lunch in the cafeteria.

This year, Jonathan was fervently hoping he could slip away early and avoid any acknowledgment of growing another year older. Lost in thought, Jonathan jumped in surprise as a cheery voice cut into the silence of his office.

"Happy birthday, Dr. Crane!" Dr. Leland greeted him with a wide smile that made him instantly suspicious. "I hope you haven't made any plans for this evening, because we're throwing you a special party!"

Jonathan grimaced, his worst fears confirmed. "That won't be necessary, Joan. I'd rather just -"

"Nonsense!" She cut him off cheerily. "We're taking you to Chuck E. Cheese!" Leland declared.

Jonathan's face paled. "A children's pizza restaurant? You must be joking."

"I never joke about birthdays!" Leland said. "Now come on, we made a reservation just for you!"

Jonathan's protests fell on deaf ears as his colleagues ushered him outside and into a waiting car. He rode rigidly in the backseat, clutching his briefcase like a shield. This was absurd. He was one of the most renowned psychiatrists in Gotham, not some child in need of a pizza party.

When they arrived, Jonathan cringed at the garish flashing lights and screams of children. Leland led them inside to a corner table covered in cardboard decorations and pointy paper hats.

"Have a seat, birthday boy!" Leland said, placing a hat on Jonathan's head. He frowned, sitting uncomfortably on a tiny chair. How humiliating.

Children at nearby tables stopped playing to stare confusedly at the awkward, lanky man in a suit sitting at the birthday table. Jonathan avoided their gaze, feeling utterly ridiculous.

A teenage server appeared, chomping gum. "Uh, what can I get you to drink?"

"A very strong whiskey if you have it," Jonathan said miserably.

The server laughed. "Dude, this is Chuck E. Cheese; I can get you a root beer float or something."

Jonathan resigned himself to a root beer float as his colleagues ordered nauseatingly cheerful drinks like Lemonberry Twist. This was a nightmare.

Soon the table was loaded with greasy pizza, fried mozzarella sticks, and other nightmares. Jonathan nibbled politely, too disgusted to eat. Children kept stopping by to gawk at the strange man.

"Why is that guy wearing a tie at Chuck E. Cheese?" Jonathan heard a young boy ask his mother. She shushed him and pulled him along, but continued peering curiously at Jonathan.

"Let's play some games!" Leland said eagerly. 

Jonathan declined, choosing to wallow quietly in misery as his coworkers scurried off.

A tiny girl with pigtails appeared next to Jonathan. "Why are you dressed like my principal?" she asked.

"I'm not," Jonathan replied curtly. "Go away, child."

She cocked her head. "Is it your birthday? My mom had a party here for my birthday too! But I'm only seven. How old are you?"

Jonathan scowled. "Old enough to know this is foolish. Now leave me alone."

The girl skipped away, and Jonathan prayed for this torment to end swiftly.

Soon his colleagues returned, arms filled with cheap toys from the arcade.