The Pieces of Me

Chapter 5

--unedited

I slowly slip off my army green jacket to hang it on the rusted coat rack beside to door and set my keys on the counter next to the vase of orange tulips.

Trying my best to avoid eye contact I head for the fridge taking my time hoping to prolong the inevitable.

I open the fridge and grab a bottle of orange juice and head to the table so we can get this over with.

I still don't look at my Dad, not wanting to see the disappointment in his eyes that I know I'll find. Even as a child and he had no idea of what was going on he could still make me feel guilty with that look.

My dad is a big guy almost at 6'5. He towers over me and my brother. He has this has this hard face that looks like he's in a gang or something. I didn't get much from him except his hair, which is a soft brown colour. Other than that I'm the spitting image of my mom.

We sit there for I don't know how long, neither one of us speaking. I can only imagine what he thinks. But I know that he still has no idea about my cancer and I really don't feel like bringing it up.

He breaks the silence first. "Why haven't you been answering your phone?"

And I know it's childish but I continue staring at the table and just shrug my shoulders.

No matter how old I get I still feel like a child when he's upset with me.

"Damn it Alison!" He yells and I feel the vibration of his fist coming down on the table.

"You don't answer your phone, you don't call, and you've been skipping classes! Tell me what's been going on!"

I say nothing.

"What the hell are these?" He yells as he throes a small orange prescription bottle on the table. "have you been taking drugs? I though I raised you better than that!" And all of the sudden my world comes crashing down...again.

I look up at him with tears in my eyes, the ones I've been holding back since I walked through the front door and release a heart breaking sob.

I see my dads blurry figure quickly rush to me and envelope me into one of his lung crushing hugs. The anger momentarily forgotten.

I just want my daddy to hold me and make all the bad things go away like when I was little and scared of the monsters in my closet, except now my monsters aren't in my closet and I'm more scared than ever.

He can't make these monsters go away but for now I want to believe that he can. I hold onto him like my life depends on it, my sanity sure as hell does.

"Shhh. shhh. You're okay, you're okay " he whispers in my ear and holds me tighter.

"I'm not" I say in a barely audible whisper but he hears me. He pulls back and places a hand on my cheek.

"What do you mean?"

"M-m-my h-head" I choke out through my sobs.

"What about you're head?" He asks concern lacing his voice.

Unable to stop crying I choke out "I-I have a-a t-tum-m-mour in m-y he-ad"

I watch as all the colour drains his face and he pulls me back into him and as I wrap both arms around his neck and bury my face in his shoulder we both collapse to the floor still holding on to each other. "No no no, not my baby girl." he mumbles into my hair.

As we hold onto each other he pulls me in his lap and I feel his shoulders start to shake with his own tears.

The last time my dad cried was at my mothers funeral. I don't like it when he cries.

We don't say anything.

We don't say anything because we both know that he just needs to hold his baby girl and I just need my Daddy to hold me and not let go.

Authors note

Some of you might be confused. I changed the type of cancer she has because I feel like I know more about brain tumours and it fits better with the story line.
Don't forget to comment, vote and follow for more. :)