The Pieces of Me

Chapter 1

It's been seven days.

Seven days since I have slept through the night.

Seven days since I called my family.

Seven days since my thoughts weren't plagued with the 'what if?'.

What if I didn't skip my doctors appointment?

What if I had noticed something?

What if?...

What if?...

What if?...

Seven days since I found out I have cancer.

When people have to tell you something, they normally ask if you want to good or the bad news first. Most people want the bad news first, hoping that the good news will compensate for the bad-that it will lessen the blow. There was no good news.

The feeling of being told that you might die leaves no room for 'good news'. You don't even feel anything at first. It's like your mind can't understand that you're sick when you feel fine. You're in a state of disbelief. That surly they got something wrong, that they have made a mistake.

They didn't.

You always hear about awful things that other people have to go through. But that's just it, other people. People have this habit of believing we're invincible. That it won't happen to us. Because how could it?

But it can.

It does.

It eats you up. An anvil hanging over your head. Waiting for realization to crash down. But unlike in cartoons you don't get a tiny umbrella; hoping to ease the impact.

***

"Miss Johnson", the doctor approached with a regretful look creasing his forehead. "We ran multiple tests and I'm sorry to inform you that you do indeed have a brain tumour."

I didn't say anything at first, mostly because I didn't know what to say. The Doctor, however, didn't seem to notice and he continued on anyway. "So I would like to preform surgery as soon as possible to prevent it from spreading or increasing in size. It is quite small as of now but it's best to take care of this as soon as possible".

"How soon?" I ask.

"That all depends on how well our treatments work, if I would like to see if we can reduce the size anymore and we'll take action from there",he says as he checks his clip board. "In the meantime, I would suggest watching your diet, exercise, and taking the medication I have prescribed."

Well shit...