Hell's Hazbin Heroes

That's Entertainment

{Reader discretion advised; Years Ago}

I know people hallucinate when they're high, but this is pretty extreme. Note to self, get a new dealer. Wait, the last thing I remember is taking my usual nicotine and a little MJ before that, and then I blacked out, and now I'm...Where am I? What is this place? I look around for clues as to where I am, and when I look up and see a giant Pentagram in the sky, I realize I'm in Hell.

Me: "Shit!"

I'm dead. What's worse, I went to hell. Why? Because I like smoking a little MJ to take the edge off after a long day, or when I'm bored, or when I wake up, or when I...Anyway, why should that automatically send me to 'the bad place'? Well, I might as well find somewhere to go, someone to do, or something to smoke.

Man: "Hey, you got a light?"

Looks like I'm not the only one in need of a hit.

Me: "Sorry, buddy. I just got here."

Man: "Come on. I just need a little help getting some action."

Me: "Don't they have hotlines for that kind of stuff? Like I said, I'm new here, I don't have a light, and I'm not that kind of demon. So, fuck off!"

Then, the man grabs my arm as I try to walk away and pulls me into an alley. I struggle to get away, but he's either naturally stronger than me, or it's the adrenaline from whatever he's on and thinking of doing.

Man: "Who do you think you are, bossing me around like that, newbie?"

Before I can answer, he places a hand on my mouth, probably expecting a witty remark, when I realize that he has a rag in his hand that smells like...Oh, God, or Satan, or whomever. Please, no.

Me: *muffled screams*

Man: "Shut the fuck up and hold still!"

He then injects something into my arm, and everything starts to feel numb and slow until I hear a muffled bang, and I fall into the arms of whoever else is here now, assuming they weren't already here.

{Time skip}

When I wake up, I'm in a room with pink walls, movie posters, mostly from porn, and a man sitting across from me on the couch I'm lying on. He has a slender build, white hair, white fur with splotches of light-pink across it, and the light-pink outline of a heart encircling his chest, the bottom point of which extends past his waistband and down to his crotch. His eyelids are light pink, and his lashes are dark and thick. His irises are cerise pink. His right eye has a light yellow sclera, and his left eye has a dark sclera. He's wearing a long light pink suit-blazer with horizontal white stripes down the length, reddish-grey miniskirt, and long reddish-grey thigh-high heeled boots, accessorized with a reddish-grey bowtie with a cerise pink center and a black choker. On his top set of arms, he's wearing long cerise pink gloves with white detailing at the cuffs. On his bottom set of arms, he's wearing long white gloves. Assuming he's with the other guy, I jerk up from my seat.

Angel: "Hey, hey. Take it easy. I'm not gonna hurt ya, and that guy ain't gonna bother ya anymore. I'm Angel Dust, but you can call me Angel."

Then, a small pink pig demon with darker pink spots along his body, black eyes, pink and black spikes, a curly tail, and little dark pink hooves approaches me from the ground.

Angel: "And this is my pet pig, Fat Nuggets."

I giggle at the name as Fat Nuggets leaps into my lap and nuzzles my hand.

Angel: "Hey, he likes you. He doesn't usually do well with strangers. So, what's your name, kid?"

Me: "Like, from when I was alive?"