The Alpha Rogue

Chapter Nine

I was not okay. When I woke up, I didn't feel refreshed. My head was pounding worse than last night, my body ached, and my head felt light. I didn't even want coffee. My body felt incredibly weak and worn out, so much so I couldn't even fathom getting up to get coffee. You would think after escaping hell on earth, I wouldn't have to think about those times ever again. And yet, my mind seemed to love to remind me.

My trauma folded me into the person I was, for better or for worse. Some days it felt like everything was a reminder of the pain I've been through. It was miserable sometimes when it seemed to consume my mind. I just wanted to cry my heart out, knock out, and dream of nothing. But I couldn't. I had shit to do. A life that couldn't just be put on hold because I was having a rough day.

With a long groan, I slowly rolled out of bed and onto the floor. Thankfully, the rug softened the fall and the bed wasn't high enough for any damage to be done. Unfortunately, the rug felt really good so I may have laid there longer than I should've. No one needs to know about that though cause I think I would die from embarrassment.

Slowly, I made my way to the dining hall to meet my pack for breakfast. I may have accidentally hit the wall a few times but no one saw so it didn't happen. Clearly, my luck wasn't in my favour as I ended up running into Queen Esmeralda. Not literally, thankfully. Goddess, that'd be even more embarrassing than laying on my rug or running into walls. I really would have to live in a hole if that happened.

"You look– well, you look not so good," the Queen said as she took in my appearance. I was going to make a joke, but my mind was too fuzzy to actually think of one. "Are you okay?" She asked concern laced her voice. Zaine would never be concerned about me. I was nothing to him.

Damn, the depressive intrusive thoughts coming out of nowhere.

Zaine's opinion doesn't matter to me anyway. He doesn't want me, and I don't want him. Goddess, that's a lie. I love the arse and I don't even know that much about him. I love Olivia too. She's amazing. Nothing like her devil of a father. She is the best thing that's ever happened to me. Even better than the one time I got a free doughnut the size of my face. That was awesome. I took Olivia to Disney World for her birthday and she loved it. That's where the doughnut is from. Disney World. Maybe we should go back. I could get another doughnut. And coffee. Why didn't I drink my coffee earlier?

"Miss King," the Queen stressed, snapping her fingers in my face. That was rude. What did I do? Wait, what were talking about? Was she talking to me the whole time I was zoning out? Shit.

"Um, sorry. I wasn't listening," I blushed from embarrassment. A hole sounds so nice right now. I can make it like my own little hobbit hole for just me and Olivia, where I could never be embarrassed again. Comfy dark little hole. Sounds nice.

She sighed and mumbled something. I was too tired to listen to what she was saying. Wonder if I could fall asleep without her noticing. Probably not. A sigh left my lips as I leaned against the wall, thinking of sleep and pretending to listen to Queen Esmeralda. Her hand felt my head then took my pulse from the wrist. I let her do whatever she wanted. Who cares. Ooh, my head is so fuzzy.

She snapped her fingers in front of my face once more, bringing me back. "We need to get you to the royal pack doctor," she said in a motherly tone.

I shook my head but stopped as I felt a wave of nausea hit me. Gooddes, I have no clue why feel so bad. I've never felt this way from a nightmare except when I was pregnant, and I know I am not pregnant again.

"I'll go to Dr Lee," I informed her. "I was planning on going later anyways"

She frowned at me as I got off the wall. She had so many things to say but all she said was something about my health being more important. The Queen led me to Emma's new office. The walk seemed long and worthless. So my mind, slowly drifted off as did my vision. I tried forcing my eyes open but they were just too heavy. My body soon followed, slowly slacking until I fell down and everything went black.