Confusion || minsung

12

Minho had to blink a few times. He just couldn't believe it.

"What?" as if in need of confirmation of some sort, he asked.

Jisung squeezed the older's hands, his eyes scanning through his features to search for the courage he needed to explain his feelings.

He wrote lyrics and poems for fun often, yet he was just so bad with words.

He was studying Journalism, for god's sake, words were supposed to be his thing!

"Since you kissed me, maybe?" he paused to think then finally shook his head. "No, I've liked you for more time. I think the kiss just made me realize what my feelings were."

Minho blinked slowly again and opened his mouth then closed it a few times. He wanted to say something but was finding hard to get the right words for it. "Then why did you say the kiss meant nothing to you?"

"Because I was so confused! I— I didn't know what was happening to me but I just couldn't get you out of my head that night. I wanted to talk with you and, you know," Jisung cleared his throat and then his voice got lower "maybe kiss you again." he blushed and Minho smiled unconsciously.

The sight in front of him was all he ever wanted: his long term crush turned into a flustered mess because of him. He was so happy he could cry, but instead he squeezed Jisung's hands to urge him to explain further.

"I was told you went back to our dorm, and I blindly went to look for you but I opened the door and found you in bed with someone, so I just slammed the door and run to Felix's and Hyunjin's." Minho hissed and turned his head, looking away.

"Sorry about that. I— I was going through some stuff and my mind thought a random hookup with a stranger would solve it." Jisung put a hand over his shoulder and shook his head.

"It's okay, I wasn't mad at you. More like I was pissed with that guy and I didn't know why. The first one to point out my jealousy was Felix that same night, but I shut the idea down because I thought it wasn't possible that I liked a man— my best friend at that. So around five am I went back, thinking that you'd be, you know, done, and I saw you kicking the guy out from a few feet away and was relieved to know I was right."

He paused to breathe. Jisung had a habit of speaking too fast when nervous and sometimes he said so much in such little bit of time he had to stop, inhale heavily, think and then continue a bit slower.

Minho found it too cute, so when Jisung did it this time the older giggled and rubbed one of his best friend's red cheeks with his thumb.

The brunette smiled and took another big breath. "Then I heard your panic attack through the door and I thought it was because you had hated the kiss, so I thought it would be better to just forget about it. But like— I spent three weeks after we made up when you got sick catching myself thinking about you and your stupid lips."

Minho chuckled and Jisung hit his arm lighty. "It's not my fault I'm this charming!" protested the older, momentarily going back to how they usually were, leaving the serious atmosphere behind for a second.

"Yes it is, you ass! 'You shouldn't be allowed to be this pretty' I cought myself thinking constantly! And then you ask me 'oh Jisung what would you think if I got a boyfriend?'" for the last sentence he used a lower voice to mock Minho a little. "I was so upset about the idea and I didn't even know why, but I thought I should be supportive so I told you that it was okay."

The older wasn't laughing anymore, he just started lovingly at Jisung.

"Chan and Changbin told me to try and move on because I was hurting so much and they were the only ones who knew." he quietly said.

Jisung frowned. "Sorry."

"It's okay, it's not like you knew anything about it. I thought you would see me as someone gross and weird if I confessed so I kept everything to myself without a reason to really think that way." Minho dropped his head on Jisung's shoulder and sighed, snaking his arms around the younger's waist to pull him closer.

"Minho..." his voice was sad and the older noticed it.

"Keep on with your story. I wanna get to the end so I can kiss you."

The brunette laughed and nodded. He felt Minho smiling against his neck as his best friend had his face smushed against the skin there.

"When you first asked me to sleep somewhere else for the night I was so jealous that I couldn't actually sleep. That's why I came that day so suddenly, out of jealousy. That's also why I hate Heesung, though I now know I'm kind of an asshole for it."

Minho hummed against his neck. "I'll have to invite him over next weekend so you can apologize to him."

Jisung scrunched his face.

"You two are still dat—"

"He broke up with me when we left the dorm, then urged me to confess properly and fix this mess you and I made."

"So he really is a good guy." Jisung commented. He was now feeling guilty about all the shit he put Heesung through just because he was confused about his feelings.

"Mhm, not a jealous brat like you."

"Hey, do I have to remind you that I was in the middle of my gay awakening caused by my very own best frie—" Minho cut him off with a little peck, then sank his face in his shoulder again like nothing happened.

"Finish the story."

Jisung was a blushing mess. "Yeah, sorry." he whispered, voice in a high pitch and kind of shaky.

He cleared his throat to speak and then continued. "The boys kept pestering me, saying how I was so obviously in love with you and all but I always denied it out of pure confusion about my own feelings, but tonight I realized that they were right all along. Earlier, when you left so mad, I thought you weren't coming back." Minho tightened his grip on Jisung's waist. "I thought you hated me, that I had lost you forever, and the boys had to calm me down because it made me panic ten times more than any other breakup ever has. That's when I realized I really love you more than what a best friend should."

Jisung brought Minho closer to him, knees bumping with each other. His heart was beating fast in his chest.

"I'm so glad you came back."

Then Jisung didn't wait for Minho to reply, detaching the boy's head from his shoulder to pull him into a proper kiss, one that showed just how much he had needed to feel Minho's lips against his own once more, how much he meant it when he said he loved him.

•••••

A/N

ahhh finally 😩

✿~