Epitaffio di Lani

Belief [ENG]

And still the moment you turn to me,
Calling my name,
Everything else disappears.
Knowing that now you care,
You want to know if I kept learning,
What I learnt,
Teasing me about not having me as a distraction,
Yet so curious to know how I've been.
That look of disappointment because I didn't learn anything more,
And taking it as a chance to teach me something new yourself,
You really don't have to do this,
Yet you do,
Even if you said it was stupid,
You're still next to me,
To support me at your best.

The way you smile at me and bend down,
Meeting my eyes with yours,
And asking me to say something,
"Impress me."
And I want to impress you,
I want to spend my days doing something,
Just because I know it'll make you proud.
I want you to be proud of me,
Spending every spare second you have watching me grow,
Get better, know better, know more.
I didn't even think you would notice,
Sitting so far from me,
Focused so hard on other matters,
Yet the first thing you ask me is what else have I learned.
I jokingly reply, annoyed,
Because someone had interrupted me at the worst time.
Surprised you ask if it was you,
And I smile, of course not, but why do you feel so guilty?
You say it's your language that I'm learning,
And that's why you feel a sense of duty.
The others smile.
Your language?
That's not your official language.
But it's the one you speak the most,
You say back, a hint of pride in your words.

And so, I want to believe you're overthinking just like me,
That you're happy because I'm doing this for you,
That all the other reasons are made up of excuses.
I want to believe you know,
That you said I was suspicious for asking your birthplace,
Maybe I asked for other reasons,
Although I really just wanted to find your zodiac chart.
But now that I think about it, that itself says a lot about my feelings, doesn't it?
So yes, I want to believe you feel something, too,
That you truly like being with me,
Being around me and talking with me.
I want to believe you do.

12.01.2024