Advice Request
The guys this person likes ends up liking their best friend
Answered Submission
Hello,
Feelings are complicated things, and there is truly no telling what goes on in other people's minds without them sharing it themselves. I wouldn't spend too much time wondering about why they don't like you back. Instead, let's look at the positives.
I feel it incumbent upon me to tell you that there is nothing wrong with you. You are not the problem. There might not be a problem at all. You love your best friend, and she loves you dearly, and as you said, she wants you to feel loved and wanted by people other than her. It is mature of you to recognize that she is not to blame. Unfortunately, sometimes people can be shallow. It isn't inherently their fault. We see what we see, and these boys that you say you feel a connection with just simply don't see you that way. It's not because there's something wrong with you. It's just a matter of whether they are superficially attracted to your friend without knowing either of you well enough to care whether or not an emotional connection is possible with either one.
What's important is that you cherish the relationships you do have, and—cliche as it is—one day, romance will come. Oftentimes, when you least expect. Cliches are cliches for a reason, right? There's a certain level of truth to them. A pattern that has been observed enough times for it to be considered predictable. For the sake of drama, I like to think, we tend to forget these patterns exist or simply deny that they could occur in our own lives. We get impatient. We want what we want when we want it, and the longer it takes the more it feels like failure on our part. The hard part is understanding that this is false. You aren't doing anything wrong. You aren't broken or defective or bad. It's just not the right time yet. What is meant for you will be yours no matter what. I am of the belief that everything in life finds its place. This is just part of your journey.
I wish there was more I could tell you. Unfortunately, this is an emotional bind you have to work through. Don't forget you can lean on your friends and family. Support systems are there for a reason! Let them love on you. Good luck, love. Message us again anytime!
Best,
The Advice Column Team
YOU ARE READING
The Advice Column V
Non-FictionMad? Conflicted? Sad? Annoyed? Angry? Heart broken? Confused? If so, check out our guidelines so we can give you the best chill pill of your life. . .in the form of advice, of course. 🙂 Please read our Guidelines chapter on how to submit an advice...
