Horror is consuming her mind, her entire world seems to be collapsing before the man who is standing infront of her with his hidden and masked face like always. She wants to scream but her voice betrays her like always. She wants to hit him, wants t...
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" Jung Kook "
When you show someone the most naked, unwrapped and rawest version of yours, and despite every dark, ugly fault you have in your persona, if the person decides to accept you, then boom, there is no way back from you. That person can never leave you, can never crawl back to anywhere else.
This is what i was planning from the very beginning. This is how we ended up here.
Me and my Doll. A beautiful Doll who makes me wanna show my every fucking psychosis to her.
When i first time saw my Doll, i didn't know i would be this devastatively attached to her. I didn't know i would be this attached to her from the depth of my wicked dark soul.
When i first time saw her, i just knew i liked her, i just knew i want her to be my Doll. I just knew i saw the material that i was looking for in my Dolls.I have admitted it before also.
But what i didn't admit was, how gradually i understood, just how destructive kind of emotional attachment i always had for her.
If i look back in time, when she didn't know i existed but i was keeping my eyes on her anyways, making it my mission to haunt her from the shadows and was following her around like a obsessed creep, back then i wasn't sure about what i would do with her. I just knew i wanted her, i needed her and i would keep her to my very last breathe, just like i have kept my Dolls.
Yes that was the term "Obsession" i knew it. I was in that phase where i wouldn't care about anything being emotion related. But then it turned into"Limerence".
And as time went by, when i kept breaking into her apartments and watched her sleep,countless of nights, i started realizing slowly that she was becoming something far from just a special Doll. She was going above that.
Though the fact was still there that i wanted her for the rest of my life, i still didn't understand how she was so special to me and why i wanted to keep her forever.
Now i know why. Now i exactly know what was the feeling all about. Now i know, why, when i saw her, watched her, had her under me, why i didn't want to snap her, to dig a knife into her throat and slice her neck to see red there.
That was atypical. I never once in my life, could go devoid of those thoughts whenever i saw any living being existing in the earth. Forget about animals and other peoples, my own parents weren't any exception. It's not like something i can control. The thoughts i mean.
But well, thankfully, i had enough brain cells to understand that i couldn't do anything bad to my parents who brought me to the earth and provided me with every shit that i needed in my life. Iam a psychopath for sure, but not a disloyal shit.
And about not killing other people, the song of " Once you loose control by any chance..." and bla fucking bla, yeah that's what stopped me.
But, yes there is a but. There is always a but everywhere. An exception. A word that never belonged to my dictionary.
