ONA

Lonely

It was already mid December and I was working over hours in the hotel, it's so busy during the holidays. The guys just left to Hamburg to record the song with their producer. I was a bit bored even though it was busy with check in and outs. But still I decided to call Zala to kill some time while I'm preparing.We were talking about all the holidays coming up and what we were gonna do and all that stuff. "So what are you gonna do?" Zala asked me. "Well I don't know yet, I can't go back to The Netherlands because I'm not welcome at my own home and Demi is with her family on a holiday" I said. "Why don't you go to the Netherlands like this weekend?" Zala asked me "she is home now right? She asked. "Nope she is already on that holiday it's also for her birthday" I said in a sad tone. "Wait you told me once you guys had the same birthday" she said surprised. "When is it?" Zala asked me "in 3 days" I said. It was quiet for a moment I even thought she had hung up. "Are you gonna celebrate it alone?" Zala asked me. "With who am I supposed to celebrate it with?" I asked her. "Well you have me an the other guys." Yes but that's mostly for going out and I have to work that day and the day agree that" I said. "Girl you're crazy" she said.

Today I went straight home, I didn't even wanted to go to the cafe today because I knew the guys wouldn't be there.

When I opened my apartment door I felt something at my feet, fist I flinched a bit but then I remembered. I was watching Igor for Jan. He had dropped of his cat probably this morning before they left, I gave Jan my spare key to drop him off because they would leave after I was at work. Igor was a sweet but social cat, I love Igor. I gave him some food Jan brought with him and I made myself some food.

While I was on the couch with my wine in my hand Igor came laying next to me on my blanket, I immediately started to pet him and he rolled over on his stomach and I laughed at him. Then I had the realization that I was extremely lonely. I know it sound sad and stuff but with the guys gone, Zala at work and my other "friends" being busy I had no one here, Demi was not here and that broke me. Maybe this work wasn't for me.. maybe I just should've had gotten a job in my city.. in my own country..

I rethought my phone call with Zala earlier today, yes I was gonna celebrate my birthday alone what's wrong with that? I mean it's kinda sad but it's just a normal day.

..................

Today was my birthday Demi and me are officially 21 years old.. She is probably celebrating it big while I'm here on my own working. It was now 6:00 so I didn't expect a text message from anyone but when I checked my phone and didn't see any it still was hurting me. Well I mean it's early in the morning but still. I texted Demi a happy birthday and I got out of bed to get ready for work.

Today was a busy day at work so I didn't had time to check my phone yet. And when I grabbed my phone out of my pocket I saw 1 message, Zala wished me a happy birthday, she was the only one who graduated me, not even my parents and I know we aren't at good terms right now but I'm still their daughter.

When I reached my apartment I heard strange noises but I just thought it was Igor playing with his toys, but when I opened the door I saw Zala and her boyfriend in my apartment they had hung up balloons everywhere and they hung up some flag line with 21 on it. "What are you guys doing here?" I asked quite shocked. "Well I could better ask how did you guys came in here?!?!" "Well I may have stolen your spare key" Zala said with a smile. "We just wanted to step by and wish you a happy birthday so that you are not alone." Zala said. "No it's okay guys I don't mind" I said. "Well we actually have to go now we're so sorry" Zala said "no no no don't apologize it's okay really go to your appointment or whatever you guys have" I said to them and I hugged them goodbye.

Later that evening I got a call, Bojan was calling me. I liked it when they called me, they always did that when they had some song ideas. I picked up the phone and we talked for a bit. When I was talking to the guys from joker out Jure noticed the flag line when I moved my phone a bit. "Hey why is there a flag line and balloons?" He asked me. "Oh it's my birthday" I said and I went further with asking them about their day. "Why didn't you tell us?" Nace asked me. "Well it's not that I celebrate it so why would I tell people" I just simply replied. "We definitely gonna celebrate when we get back" Jan said to me. "No guys it's okay we don't have to do that I'm having fun right now, I have Igor next to me and there is a small peace of cake waiting for me in the kitchen." I said "well I'm gonna be honest with you that's kinda sad" Bojan said. "Yeah I know but I don't have someone to celebrate it with" I said. And the guys were quit not knowing what to say after that.

We all talked for a while and they let me listen to a little snippet of the song and I really love it I can't wait till I can hear the whole version.
After we hung up I went to bed, this day was so long.