How did it ever end up like this? He thought to himself, as he lay there on the gynecologist office exam table, alone. He knew when it had started of course, the year before , early February, he had started having seizures . Then a 6 month bout of mono left him at 130 lbs, and permanently weak. Then of course early September his heart rate skyrocketed into the hundreds. Before he knew it, he lost his appetite, became bloated and nauseous and barely ate. He felt as if he was dying ,then.
Suddenly he snapped away from his thoughts, looking into the eyes of the Dr who had just walked in, as she washed her hands , he shifted uncomfortably on the exam table, the paper crinkling with every small movement. The Dr put her hand on his shoulder. " Alex, I've checked over your scans, you're still having chest and abdominal pain, yes? " Alex nodded,uneasy . " Your scans indicate.." words began to jumble up " Progressing rapidly.." Suddenly the room's atmosphere shifted abruptly. The drs words became jumbled up in the intensity of the fluorescent ceiling lights. Alex stared at the floor in horror, realizing why he was here." It's stage 3 ovarian cancer, I'm afraid it has metastasis in your chest and lungs. " , " we'll begin chemotherapy immediately, as well as eventually installing a nasogastric tube,and a nasal cannula..." he stood up, and walked out, slamming the door behind him.
His brother, James nearly knocked the boy over as Alex walked towards the car. " Woah , woah, hold on-" Alex slumped into the front passenger seat. Fuming, trying to stifle his tears. " Please take me home.. I wanna eat some mac and cheese, " James nodded eyes on the road, " Do you want to watch tangled?" Alex nodded silently.
A pot full of Mac and cheese and one Disney movie later and Alex was laying with his head resting against James's lap as the older boy ran his fingers through Alex's faded green hair. " James , " the young boy shifted, instead sitting up, his head against James's shoulder as James wrapped an arm around him. "You know, don't you?" At first James didn't answer, and just as silence filled the room, there was a response, " How bad is it?" Alex could barely get the words out. " I was right... s-she said I'm stage 3.. ovarian, " By now Alex had gone quiet again, and it was quite a while before anyone spoke.
James's rage broke the silence
" So, you're saying I've been watching my baby brother slowly dying all because the fucking drs originally claimed there was NOTHING!"
He scoffeed and let out a desperate wry laugh ,
"I mean, this has to be a fucking joke. HOW COULD THEY MISS THIS!"
Before he could continue, he feels arms wrap around him tightly, and he could feel his anger dissipate. " Bubba,I'm Okay, I've known about it for a long time, I'm just scared of dying, I don't want to leave you, " Alex stared at his big brother with tears in his eyes, " I know we've thought it was cancer for a long time, but now that we know it is, what are we supposed to do?
" You have to fight it kiddo, you have to get better. " Alex couldn't look at him, but they stayed, holding each other, unsure of their future.
YOU ARE READING
If anything happens, I love you
RandomA semi autobiographical account of my health issues, dedicated to my brother, meliodas and written in collaboration with @badgirlcoven_ ( aka Amity) ( we don't know if it's cancer or not, in real life, only in the story, to make describing symptoms...
