If anything happens, I love you

Old times and new fears

Finally after three days, Alex would see Amity again.  He didn't expect to wake up feeling extremely nauseated and his abdomen swelled up with near agonizing pain .  He couldn't think straight and felt like his legs would give out if he stood up.
He reached into his nightstand, frantically trying to administer nausea and pain medication. He let out a few shaky uneven breaths, before administering the medication and laying back down. I just need the pain to go away please.. He knew he would have to get up, Amity was coming to pick him up around noon and he was still in pajamas.  He groaned, still holding his abdomen as he stood up.  Fuck this!  James had evidently left for work already, so Alex decided to steal his ghostface shirt, and gray hoodie. He adjusted the nasal cannula to better sit on his face, then put in his earrings.  By the time he was ready, he needed to sit, he pulled open his wheelchair and sat down, attaching his oxygen canister to the side and wheeling himself to the living room. His wheels glowed purple as he moved, reflecting against the white walls. He went to the bathroom , checking himself in the mirror and brushing his teeth. He spit out blood. He just sighed, wiping it up and continuing. He decided to open the door, so he could see when Amity arrived.  After about twenty minutes, Alex started to feel nervous, it was 11:58, He was just starting to watch "Angel Beats" .  He watched, almost mesmerized by the Christmas lights , knowing the girl was dying right in her big brother's arms, and he didn't even know. He was again snapped out of his thoughts, when the doorbell rang, at about 12: 30 Amity showed up.
"Hey, you're alive!" Amity exclaimed.
"Barely," Alex replied.
"Well, that's all we need right?"
"I suppose so."
Amity's eyes started to glaze over with tears. The friend that she had was hidden behind tubes. The nasal cannula and the feeding tube combined obstructed the view of a familiar face, a face that brought her joy. These tubes were just another reminder that there would be barriers between her and her friend. Alex's ghostly appearance appropriately matched the ghostface t-shirt he had stolen from James.
"What do you want to do first?" Amity asked.
"Maybe we could go to the pottery place. I'm not very  hungry right now," Alex replied, trying his best to smile through the twinge of pain in his abdomen.
"Alright, come on." Amity clutched her car keys. It was the only thing in that moment that she felt she could actually hang onto since she could tell that Alex was in pain. He wasn't the greatest at hiding things no matter how hard he tried.
Alex paused for a second, before wrapping his arms around Amity's neck, "I've missed you, so so much. C'mon!" he chuckled, parting the hug. 
Amity couldn't help but smile at her frail friend. "Alright, let's have some fun while we still can."
Amity drove with Alex as her passenger prince to the pottery place. Seeing the familiar faces of the cashiers made this feel like old times. Before the cancer diagnosis, they came here to be creative. Really, it was an excuse for Amity to see Alex's skills in person and for her to not look like an incompetent idiot while trying to do some art. Alex uncomfortably stood behind Amity, feeling the cashiers looking at him, full of pity. They hadn't seen him since after his diagnosis of course, but it still stung. Amity knew the attention bothered Alex, so she stepped up and did all of the talking and bringing the paints to Alex. They looked around and picked what they wanted to paint. Amity saw an amazing tray that she could see herself putting photos of her friends on to remember good times such as these.
Alex grabbed a large rectangle, starting to paint him and his friends at the ocean, releasing lanterns into a blue sky. "I would love to see the ocean.." he mumbled, not caring if anyone actually heard.
"I've seen the ocean before. It was nice. However, I saw it when I was young. I was too young to ever appreciate it. Now, I would love to go back" Amity muttered. Alex smirked at her remark.
"I'm probably too sick anyway, It's a nice thought though.." Alex shifted uncomfortably in his chair, he felt something was off, but presently chose to ignore it.
"I think we could still do it. Even if it's only for a day. Seeing you happy would make the journey worth it." Amity looked over at Alex noticing his discomfort. He snapped his head up, "I'm just going to use the bathroom quickly." He stood up, walking away. Once he got in the bathroom, he felt something small,and sore. He assumed it was just an ingrown hair and dismissed his worries. He then walked back over. He attempted to sit down and continue, but he could barely sit.  "How's it going?" he asked, gesturing to Amity's art ignoring the pain . He silently continued to paint while he listened.
"It's going alright. I'm a shitty artist. Are you okay?" Amity replied.
Alex sighed weary, "Yeah, everythings good! I was just..adjusting my feeding tube."
"Do you want to try that again and not lie this time?"
Alex faltered,"Something's Wrong, I-" he sighed, seemingly angry, but in reality he was just in pain. "  Could we go somewhere else ? ." Alex seemed shaken.
Amity couldn't reply back. Neither of them had truly finished their work, but this was something that she knew she had to get used to. She paid before driving them to Chipotle where they ordered kids meals. Since Amity worked at Chipotle, she got the meals for free. They went and sat at a nearby table.
"Are you okay Alex?"
Alex sighed, "I'm sorry for snapping back there, Don't freak out, please? I found a lump.. It's small, but it was painful to touch, everything felt swollen."
"Alex! That isn't good! Is it still painful?"
Alex nodded, "yeah, it's why I couldn't sit in there anymore. "
"Oh. What do you want to do? I mean there is a hospital nearby if you want to get it checked out really quick." she jokingly gestured vaguely out the window.
Alex felt ashamed as he all but whispered, "Would you take me? I don't want to inconvenience James.." he couldn't look at her. "I'm sorry I ruined us hanging out!"
"You aren't ruining anything. Let's go, it'll be just like all our jokes from before all this." With that, Amity and Alex hopped into the car and drove to the hospital. Alex was admitted and Amber immediately called James who got there quicker than she expected as he was still tying up some loose ends at work.
"What the hell happened?!" James asked.
"He felt something painful. Really painful to the point where he couldn't sit down." Amity replied.
"Oh shit, thank you for bringing him."
"Of course. Do you want me to stay?"
Alex shifted uncomfortably, trying his hardest not to cry. "Please don't leave."
"Okay, I won't." Amity reassured him.
Alex leaned his head on Amity's shoulder as they sat there, finally letting himself be comforted by his family. James held his brother's hand as they sat there, waiting. Every minute was unbearable, Alex grew itchy and uncomfortable. His abdomen aches,and he could sense nausea churning his stomach. He had thought about the first time he came here, how his estranged mom waited in the waiting room, and how scared he felt.
" Alex!"
Suddenly he was snapped out of his memories.
" I got this, you can wait for me here."
James squeezed his hand reassuringly.
" Love you kiddo, just breathe."
Alex just smiled before walking back with the nurse.