If anything happens, I love you

Reconnection 💜

When they got home,  the boys went separate ways, James walked into the living room with his phone, he had started reading a new book as a way to distract himself. Before he knew it, almost an hour had gone by, he rocked back and forth, moving to the music in his headphones, continuing to read. On the other side of the house,Alex promptly wheeled himself into his shared bedroom ,he locked the door, transferring from the chair to  his bed, holding back tears .  Everything felt wrong ,his body ached,he felt nauseous and he couldn't help himself when he whimpered the smallest "I-i want my mom..." by this point, he was feeling empty. " I miss my mom...I want her ...."  He could hear the faint sound of James's rocking in the living room. Alex turned his head to the wall, staring up at one of his old paintings. It was he and James, and Amity. he grabbed his teddy bear, using it to stifle his crying. Before he knew it, he had fallen asleep, tangled in his tubes and blankets. James was still intensely focused on the music blaring in his headphones as he walked into the bedroom. Alex didn't even know, in his sleep he continued to cry, mumbling " I want mom." James groaned in anger at the words. He hated Alex's mom. He had hated her from the very moment they met. But, he swallowed his anger and resentment, when he heard what sounded like weak moaning, he sat on the floor by the bed, reading his book and simultaneously holding Alex's hand which was hanging off the end, draped over his teddy bear. James sighed , slipping his hand away to rub his eyes, it was almost 1am. He knew that guilt wouldn't let him sleep if he left Alex there.  He sighed,  Sometimes he wondered If he would ever get to have a normal life with his brother and friends.  But, he knew that even if he was feeling numbed, like he couldn't cope, It was worth it to see Alex at peace.
James gently moved Alex's head,before using his thumb to wipe away the tears on Alex's cheeks. "I need you to look at me, kiddo"  Alex let out a small questioning noise." hm?"
"Kiddo, no matter what good memories you may have with her, it will never be enough to make up for everything she inflicted on you." He pulled Alex closer, so his head was against his chest, so Alex was  listening to James's heartbeat while James continued.
"After everything she put you through, she doesn't deserve to have you as family .It is always going to hurt, but you aren't alone.As your brother, and your best friend,I promise you I will always be here for you for as long as you need me and then some." He couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt. He knew where things were headed, and he held resentments. He never wanted Alex to get this sick, He hoped he was doing enough.
He squeezed Alex's hand, he felt the small boy curl up closer, until he heard in  the smallest voice , " Thank you,big  bro, "  Alex couldn't see it, but James's eyes widened, and a soft smile formed on his face.
"Anything you need kid, I'll try my damn best."

Once Alex fell asleep, he picked him up, putting him on his right side of the bed, then laying next to him, peacefully continuing to read.
The next morning, he got up, showered and got dressed for work. He gently cleaned Alex's IV port, setting up his feeding tube, before he woke him up, "Hey kiddo, I'm heading to work, I set up your TPN, and charged your phone. If you need anything, you can call me or —-, they offered to help out." Alex smiled "Thank you!"
"Alright, love you kid, I'll be home around 3, "
"Be safe, love you!"
Jame ruffled Alex's hair before walking out. He had recently started trying to get his license but he decided to bike today. He hated his job, but it paid well, so he didn't want to quit. Later, when his shift was almost over, he turned his phone on to check his texts, No notifications.

{Coming home soon kid,}
Sent 2:40 pm
No answer.

While James finished his shift, Alex had busied himself at home, he wanted to surprise James.
He set out to make cheesy noodles. When he was done he put it in the fridge, deciding he felt good enough to bake. He leaned against the counter to support himself as he grabbed a box mix of brownies. An hour later he was sitting at the kitchen table, content with his work.

"I'm home! Kid!" He  sighed in exhaustion and annoyance, as he took off his coat and dropped his keys on the table.
"Kid!?"
"Cmon, I'm not playing!"
Alex heard James' somewhat frantic annoyed steps and stifled back giggles.
James heard and rushed into the kitchen, pausing. He looked at Alex surprised when he noticed a full pot of mac  n cheese and a pan of brownies. His anger shifted to confusion.
"Did you?.."
Alex smiled " Yeah! I figured you needed a break and I had some extra energy."
James faltered for a second, before walking over and hugging Alex,
"Thank you,sunshine."
Alex swore the smile on James face made him feel a thousand times better.
He sat down in the chair adjacent to Alex, grabbing one of the brownies. "These, these are fantastic!" James proceeded to eat half the pan within the next hour. Alex just smiled, unable to force himself to try his own food. Alex subtly rubbed his chest, near his sternum, the tumors and heartburn pushed painfully against the bones.  A disgusting reminder of their dim reality, which he chose to ignore. He had practically worn himself out it was worth it, James deserves all the pans of brownies and mac n cheese . He would always think of James as the best brother ever, even if James disagreed every time Alex reminded him. He loved him anyway.