pearl {hsau}

new year's day.

song; new years day // taylor swift

margot xx

As the glow of the winter haze shines through the bay window. I watch as the winter birds sing and fly around with each other.

Soulmates.

A soft smile grows on my face as I look out the window as I lay under the warm blankets taking in all of the memories of the night.

Today is my birthday, and for once I don't feel empty. I don't feel resentment, I don't feel sad or angry. I feel at peace for the first time in a while.

I don't feel like I need to rush out of bed and run from the world. I don't feel numb. I feel safe.

I feel like I am home.

Home, a word for the place you live and reside. It's funny because I've lived in the same house my entire life and because of circumstances I don't think I will ever leave. But, my house is not my home.

As I got older I yearned for the warmth and safety surrounded by that word and I always had it. I had it without realizing it until it was taken away.

I walked everyday on this earth wondering if I would ever get that special feeling back that I always felt...and finally I have it back.

I am home.

My home is wherever Harry is.

It took me a while to realize or even admit it to myself. Especially the night he left me in the diner. Admitting he was my only genuine source of happiness in this life only made him being gone hurt more.

Him leaving, the four years of the pain and sadness, doesn't matter anymore.

He's back and I'm home.

"What's going on in that pretty mind of yours?" Harry rasps and I feel him delicately rake his fingers through my hair. I smile and roll over to face him. "Hi Sonny," I softly say as my eyes look over his face.

His eyes full of sleep as he shares the same soft smile. His breathing is soft and steady as he watches me. Harry brings his hand to my cheek and his thumb rubs circles against my skin.

"Hi Cher," He whispers, "how'd you sleep?" My smile gets bigger as I nod against my pillow.

"The best sleep I've had in awhile. How did you sleep baby?" He nods.

"The best sleep I've had in awhile." He repeats my words slightly chuckling. We fall into a comfortable silence for a moment of time. Taking in this memory we make as we fall deeply into each other's eyes.

The same eyes I fell in love with at the age of seven. The same eyes I could get lost in for hours with no care in the world.

I let out a soft sigh stretching slightly, readjusting to be closer to Harry. "How about we get up and head back into town. Get some breakfast from Starlight?" I smile and nod. That sounds perfect.

"I think that's a perfect idea."

"You're perfect," Harry softly says and I feel my cheeks turn rosie from his compliment. I take the blanket off of my body and roll out until my bare feet touch the cold oak hardwood floors. As I stand, my legs shake from the previous night's activities.

Harry begins chuckling that quickly turns into laughter. I turn to look at him and roll my eyes. This causes him to start laughing harder so I grab the pillow my head was on chucking it at him as hard as I can. "Hey!"

"It's not funny H," I groan and he continues to laugh.

"Hey its proof that I fucked you like I missed you." Sending me back to last night. The moment we both admitted that we have always been more than friends. Saying the three most scariest words in the English language dictionary.