𝑯𝑶𝑼𝑺𝑬 𝑶𝑭 𝑺𝑶𝑹𝑹𝑶𝑾⇢ Gojo Satoru

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐗𝐗𝐗𝐕𝐈 - 𝐈 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃 𝐏𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐄 𝐈𝐍 𝐌𝐘 𝐕𝐈𝐎𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄

THE DARKNESS NEVER STOPPED. It lingered, shadows circling around Kinzoku Mikazuki long after the clearing disappeared. It was a living nightmare, a horrible daydream where she found herself trapped and unable to escape. There was nowhere to go, nowhere to run. The nightmare never left her. Not when she appeared in her room – covered in shadows and ichor that dripped down her clothes –, not when she stripped naked and filled the tub with scalding hot water, not when she let herself fall into the water, eyes trained on the bathroom ceiling as she gazed through the muddy bathwater.

The darkness of The Beldam was endless, limitless like the power that coursed through her own veins. The nightmare never ended. It never truly began, either. Mikazuki was stuck reliving the same moment over and over again, trapped in a never-ending loop of doom that somehow still dared steal the breath away from her lungs. It always began the same. It always ended the same, as well. It was a prison made of time – an amalgamation of regret, pain and a small hint of remorse. She never truly regretted any of it, at least until now.

She was always in the same place, on the same day. Ten years had passed; she shouldn't remember that day as clearly as she did. And yet, the memory was crystal clear, like she was still there, like she never quite moved. How long had she been stuck in that place, in that moment suspended in time? Mikazuki couldn't tell, not when she could still feel the rawness of it all splitting her soul open to the core.

The memory never faded. Instead, it remained.

There she was; Goldslayer strapped against her back while she climbed up the concrete steps to the abandoned factory in the Kansai district. Mikazuki watched herself strut up the steps, her ponytail swinging with each movement while her breath caught in her lungs. Then, she paused in front of the door, taking a deep breath and waiting just for an extra second before finally pushing the heavy steel gates.

It was always the same story, so many truths shrouded in complete darkness, so many secrets the Kinzoku had been trying to run away from. There it was, out in the open, taunting her, making her watch the same scene, the same day, on repeat, forever. Mikazuki was drowning in this sorrow, watching herself fall into the complete oblivion waiting for her on the other side of that door.

The darkness swallowed her, once inside. Maybe it was better that way, with the cacophony of screams being the most haunting part. And then, like a cruel joke, the loop reset. And there she was again, Goldslayer strapped to her back, walking up the concrete steps...

Over and over and over again. That was the most violent and harrowing detail. Watching the same mistake, on repeat, for all future time. She couldn't escape from it, not even as years passed and her mind withered along with the leftovers of her memories. No, this moment would haunt Kinzoku Mikazuki until the day she died, until there was nothing left of her but a pile of neat and clean bones.

This was her crucible. Her cross to bear, and she was drowning under its weight. She was being dragged into a bottomless pit made of despair, sorrow and regret. Mikazuki should have felt terrified and overwhelmed, but there was something oddly quiet in the way she fell apart, like small pieces of herself slowly shattered, filling the bottom of the tub. She felt like a motionless ocean, a ship without a harbour, a dream without a dreamer.

Kinzoku Mikazuki closed her eyes, slowly sliding to the bottom of the tub until the water covered her whole. The Kinzoku Clan had a particular way of existing, and with their golden blood filling their veins, water was probably one of the only things powerful enough to stop them. It was so simple and poetic, like a deity was out somewhere laughing at this impossibility.

Except, there were no gods here. Never had been, at least not by her side, not marking her path.

And if there was some wretched deity looking over her shoulder, then its name was death.

Death was the only true meaning left to her life. Death and vengeance and all the terrible little things she'd done since she was old enough to sin. Maybe if Mikazuki had been a little bit more remorseful and appalled with herself she could truly have seen the irony in it. Instead, she was here, drowning in her own despair.

Oh, how poetic. A little voice said inside her head, the cadence of her mother haunting her even in this place.

There was nothing poetic about that.

Kinzoku Mikazuki stayed like that for what felt like forever, eyes closed while her mind silently drifted. Here, she was at peace. But in her head, there was an entirely different war currently waging itself. In her head, she was still there, still reliving that moment, still drowning in the most despicable part of herself.

Maybe that's what pushed her into parting her lips, swallowing a mouthful of water as it filled her lungs. Maybe she liked the way it burned. Maybe she liked the way it felt. Drowning was so quiet and peaceful compared to the terrible memories dancing in her vision. She'd done terrible things, so many things that should haunt her, and yet, this was her only true regret.

There she was; Goldslayer strapped against her back while she climbed up the concrete steps to the abandoned factory in the Kansai district. Mikazuki watched herself strut up the steps, her ponytail swinging with each movement while her breath caught in her lungs. Then, she paused in front of the door, taking a deep breath and waiting just for an extra second before finally pushing the heavy steel gates.

She was drowning in this terrible darkness. Drowning. Drowning. Drowning.

It would be so easy to just... disappear. To fade into the dark oblivion of the beyond, where she'd always belonged. For as long as she could remember, the darkness had been her home, her one true ally. And yet, here she was, drowning in the most bitter parts of what had once been her safe haven. There was cruelty in that fact, a gentle violence echoing in the unfairness of it all. She shouldn't be here, she should never have come back; not for Keisuke and not for anyone else. She should have stayed home, in her little raggedy cabin, counting the stars and hoping for a quiet life. There was nothing quiet about this, nothing kind.

And yet, the violence in her head quieted.