Where I Belong

Part 10

It could have been 30 seconds or it could have been 30 minutes, neither of them knew or cared. Their lips were locked and hands had started to wander. It felt as if they were making up for the lost time, for all the years that they had been denying themselves. The tension had always been there, but they were careful not to step over the line. It was mostly Stevie's decision after their failed attempt of getting back together in '97. It hurt her terribly to have him and lose him once again. Now? None of that seemed to matter. Her hands at the nape of his neck, her fingers in his hair, her palms cradling his face - anything to keep him close. He held her by her hips, his hands moved to her back, they sneaked to her front and slipped under her blouse - if it was a one time thing, he wanted to capture her and the moment the best he knew how. What changed her mind? Why didn't she push him away? Why was she letting him touch her in ways that someone else's husband definitely wasn't supposed to? 

Those voices in the back of their minds, quiet but still there, slow them down. They shared a few more pecks then one last lingering kiss and finally separated. Eyes everywhere but on each other, they remained standing in the same spot for a minute. What to say after that?

"You've got lipstick all over your face." Stevie spoke up first.

"Oh, I do?" Lindsey tried wiping it off with the back of his hand. His question seemed so idiotic, given that they were making out like horny teenagers.

"So..." Stevie cleared her throat, lifting her eyes up to look at him. "Well, that happened."

"Yeah." Lindsey nodded, hands on his hips, looking back at her. "I understand if you want me to go." She usually did whenever they allowed themselves to slip in the past.

Stevie was silent. She didn't want him to leave, but she couldn't exactly tell him that, could she? Directly asking him to stay wasn't considered okay, but...

"Do you want to smoke a joint?" 

Lindsey's eyebrows shot up. That was the last thing he expected to hear from her right now. She's not pushing you out the door, Lindsey thought. Whatever she would have suggested, he would have said 'yes'.

An hour and an expertly rolled joint by Lindsey later, they found themselves in Stevie's bedroom out of all places. Stevie lay on her back with her eyes closed, Lindsey was beside her on his front, hugging a pillow, his eyes on her. He never thought that a gender reveal party would lead to this.

 "Are you still with me?" Lindsey asked, waving his hand in front of Stevie's face.

"Mmhm." Stevie nodded. "I'm just enjoying the moment."

"It was some pretty good weed." He had to admit. "I might have to change dealers." She smiled. "I didn't know that you were still into it."

"Sometimes." Stevie shrugged, opening her eyes, she turned her head to face him. "Can I tell you something?"

Uh-oh, Lindsey propped himself up on his elbows. "What?"

"I haven't felt this comfortable in a long time. With anyone." She added. She stretched out her arm and wrapped her fingers around his bicep, lightly brushing her thumb over his skin under the sleeve of his T-shirt. "I don't know why, I don't know what this-" She showed between them. "is, but..."

But? BUT? 

Lindsey moved over closer to Stevie, he draped his arm around her waist and rested his chin on her chest. Suddenly somehow this was no longer too intimate or too wrong. She saw a smile cross his lips.

"I'm a changed man, I know." Lindsey joked, making her chuckle. 

"But you are." Stevie nodded, slipping her fingers into his curls. "That's why I'm usually so stand-offish with you. I know that you've changed, I see it, and if I let those walls crumble just a little..." She trailed off, but he knew what she meant.

Should he or no? Things were going really well and he really didn't want to ruin anything, but she was right there. There were no signs that she didn't want to.

Lindsey lifted his head up slightly and drifted in closer, bumping the tip of his nose against hers. He cocked his head to the left a little and leaned in, softly pressing their lips together again. There was no need to persuade her as she opened her mouth, deepening the kiss. Yeah, she was feeling it now. Her heart was beating a lot faster and instead of the butterflies, doing backflips in her stomach, she was beginning to feel a tingling lower. Why did it have to be him and only him?

"Linds." Stevie broke them apart, laying her hands on his chest after he had just made himself comfortable in between her legs. "Lindsey..."

"Hmm, what?" Lindsey pressed his hands into the mattress as he lifted himself up. 

"I think..." She sank her teeth into her bottom lip as if wanting to stop herself from saying anything. "This- this is- we shouldn't."

Lindsey sighed heavily, but nodded his head, getting off of her. "Sorry."

"You don't have to be." Stevie moved to sit up. "It was nice. It was way more than nice." She laughed weakly. "It wouldn't be... you know, we're not supposed to."

"Right." Lindsey unwillingly agreed. What now?

"You don't have to leave." Stevie said as if she'd read his mind. "You can stay the night."

"The couch it is." Lindsey was about to roll out of the bed, but he felt Stevie's hand, stopping him.

"You can stay here." He heard her say. "With me."