Where I Belong

Part 18

Chris was tapping his fingers on, sitting in the backseat of a black SUV. Stevie turned her head towards him, placing her hand over his. He stopped and looked her way, he apologized.

"Are you nervous?" Stevie asked and saw him nod.

"A bit, yeah. I'm much more confident, playing in front of five thousand people. These private things aren't really my thing." Chris replied, then the corners of his mouth curled up into a smile. "Thank you for coming with me."

Stevie was there for support. Chris kept saying that he wanted her to join him and eventually she gave in. Even though she didn't really want to come along, she agreed because she felt only a little guilty for sleeping with Lindsey two weeks ago. She felt guilty for secret text messages between them. She felt guilty because she knew he'd moved into a guest room in his own home and she couldn't stop thinking about it, couldn't stop thinking, what does it mean.

They arrived at the venue and were shown to a dressing room. Stevie took a seat, her hands clasped in her lap as she watched Chris getting ready. It didn't take long before she started comparing him to Lindsey. Chris put on one of his colorful suits with intricate details, he stared at himself in the mirror, making sure that every hair was in place. The last thing on Lindsey's mind before going on stage was how he looked, all he cared about was picking up his guitar to warm up his fingers as soon as possible. All Lindsey ever wanted was peace and quiet, while Chris, much like Stevie herself, put on some music and sang along until it was time to walk out of the room. She and Chris were so alike in many ways, why was she suddenly missing Lindsey's quiet strumming until the very last minute before showtime?

Stevie would have gladly stayed by herself if not for the one song she had agreed to perform with Chris. She watched him for a couple of minutes, swaying slowly, waiting to be asked to join him. Was she excited? No. Was she nervous? Not at all. She never cared much when she herself was booked for a private show, she definitely didn't care about one song at some rich guy's birthday. 

"I'd like to ask a very special guest to come out and join me." Chris spoke to his relatively small audience. He smiled, hearing the immediate excitement. "Ladies and gentlemen, Stevie Nicks!"

A fake smile on her face, Stevie stepped out, giving a small wave to the crowd as she walked over to Chris. She opened her arms to hug him and leaned in, convinced he was going to kiss her on the cheek, but his lips landed on hers. Her smile disappeared as she moved to take her spot.

The hour Chris was paid for passed by. They were back in the dressing room and he instantly noticed that Stevie's mood had changed. He asked what she thought of his performance, she said that it was great. He asked if she wanted to go out to dinner, she said that she had a headache and wanted to rest. He asked if she was alright, she said that she was.

"Room service?" Chris suggested, once they were in their hotel room.

"I'm not hungry." Stevie replied, opening her small suitcase to look for a bag, in which she'd put all of her skincare essentials. "I'm gonna get ready for bed." She added and went to the bathroom. 

Chris gave her a moment alone, he then went in after her. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine." Stevie said, washing the makeup off her face.

"Well, you don't seem fine." Chris shook his head, leaning against the doorframe. "Did I do something that upset you?" Stevie remained quiet. "Okay, so I did do something."

Stevie sighed, throwing away a ruined cotton pad. "You kissed me." 

"Excuse me?" Chris frowned.

"We're not- we haven't discussed it yet." Stevie tried to explain. 

"What do you mean? Are we supposed to hide? We don't around our friends." Chris shrugged, confused why it was such a big deal. "Those people were strangers, who cares!"

"I do." Stevie briefly glanced at him. "We don't hide around our friends because we know that they're not going to tell the whole world."

"Stevie, we're a couple. The world-" He emphasized, making it sound like he was mocking her. "Is going to find out at some point."

"On my terms." Now she avoided looking at him altogether as she searched in her bag for her face cream.

"I'm sorry, but I was under the impression that we're two grown adults, allowed to do whatever we want and be with whoever we want." Chris was usually a calm person, but his frustration was beginning to show. She didn't respond. "Alright, since we're obviously going to fight about whatever this is..." He paused, hoping that she'd look at him, but she didn't. "Let's be real. Do you consider this to be a serious relationship? I've been keeping quiet, but we started dating-" He used air quotes. "Over half a year ago. Most of the time, I feel like I'm out with a friend because you don't even let me hold your hand. You let me get close if there's no one else around and all I get from you is a kiss here and there and that happens only if you feel like it. We never talk about anything important like our future together. The few times I've tried, you immediately changed the subject." Stevie's lips were sealed, so he continued. "Don't get me wrong, it's not the one and only thing I'm interested in, but it took months before we finally slept together." He took a moment to breathe. "You know, maybe I'm just imagining things, but it seems like you want me to be your boyfriend only when it suits you. For example, when Lindsey's around. That one time, at Callie's party you were particularly affectionate."

So, he noticed. "That's not true." Stevie spoke up at last, failing to convince either of them.

"It is true!" Chris yelled out. "I thought, you wanted this. I thought, you like me too." He reminded her of what she had told him.

"I did." Stevie nodded her head slightly.

"Did." Chris repeated.

"I did like you, Chris. I do." Stevie corrected herself. "You're right, let's be real." She dropped whatever she was holding in her hand and turned to face him. "You're great, really, and I do like you, but..." Again, she shook her head. "Not enough. I don't have any romantic feelings for you. I've tried, I wanted to feel something for you, but the truth is-" She shrugged, giving him an apologetic look. "I don't, I'm sorry."

"You're sorry?" Chris scoffed, not having expected tonight to go like this. "For?" He waited for a second and then continued. "For playing with my feelings? You knew that I was in-" He stopped himself. "Why wait for so long? You couldn't have given it a month and told me that it's not gonna work?"

"I'm-"

"Sorry, yeah." Chris exhaled heavily, looking away. Stevie closed the gap between them and reached out to touch him, but he held up his hands, letting her know not to. "You can stay here, but, uh... I'm- I'm leaving. I have to go." He said and rushed out.

If she went after him, maybe she could have fixed it, however, Stevie remained standing where she was. She didn't want to fix it. 

~

AN: The note at the end of the previous chapter was a little misleading, huh. One problem solved, one more to go.