In Her Eyes

Chapter 5: What Did You Call Me?

Taraji's pov

My hands clenched the steering wheel, knuckles slowly turning red from the stress. After the meeting I offered to give my Tasia a ride back home, making sure she got back safely and had some company. An empty, big house like that represents everything she no longer had. A bedroom, that used to belong to her and her husband. A kitchen where she used to hold so many dinner parties. At some point, all of that liveliness died.

A certain part of her died.

I remembered the nights we sat on her couch watching our favorite reality shows. We snacked, gossiped, and laughed together. Just friends who enjoyed each other's company. While comforting her through her divorce, I watched that smile change. It felt emptier as the days went by. I wanted to be the one to help her feel complete again; whole. I needed her as much as she needed me.

Though now, it was a painfully silent ride. I heard her sigh every once in a while, head obviously full. I genuinely had no idea how to break the stillness. I watched as her leg bounced nervously, wishing I knew how to calm her like I used to. I couldn't help but wonder what she was thinking. Was she embarrassed? Did I need to be embarrassed?

"Hey, Fantasia..." I begin, not really sure where to take it.

She barely responds, with a simple uninterested hum. I didn't want her to feel weird about what happened. But I was stuck between trying to figure out what to do and a head full of replays of this morning. The way my name slipped off her tongue...
It sounded natural. Way too natural. Like maybe she'd done this before.

Not a thing before walking in on her this morning mattered to me now. We hadn't talked in what felt like forever, so I figured if we carpooled this morning, it'd give us a chance to catch up. I texted her before I was on my way, but no response. I knocked three times, no answer.

What is this girl doing? She hasn't forgotten about me has she?

I wanted to see her, needed to. Too many things left unresolved. Too many things I wished I said to her. I used the key I knew she had hidden on the front porch. After I turned it I heard a click, satisfied with myself for getting in.

"Tasia?" her typically quiet house seemed quieter. A dangerous, suspicious silence. I started to worry, searching around her main floor.

Checking the kitchen, "Tasia, where are you?" I ask out loud. No one.

Where the hell is she? Then I heard something. A woman's voice, but she sounded like she was in...distress maybe?

I ran up the stairs , following the sounds. "Fantasia!" I yelled, afraid of what I would walk into.

I hoped she was okay. I needed her to be okay.
As I got closer to her bedroom I heard the bed squeak. Was...she with someone?
I felt myself get angry. I couldn't truly tell you why. But my blood was boiling.
Really? Her ass was with someone right now? We have a meeting in less than an hour. I started to feel betrayed.

I guess I had no right, I did just walk into her house. But she wasn't responding, what was I supposed to do? That's my girl, of course I'm gonna check on her.

Hand pressed against a cracked door, I think about all the ways I could interrupt them right now. I consider each one.

I could pretend to trip, fall on the floor. Maybe fall dramatically.

No, what if I break my nails?

I could...

"Mmn , Taraji."

The fuck? I know...I know I imagined that. I looked up toward the ceiling. Im starting to think my subconscious was warning me not to barge in.

Right, I shouldn't even be here.