Dream Of You (Jensoo)

Natsukashii

Defined as: suddenly euphorically nostalgic, triggered by experiencing something for the first time in years

••••••••••
The doctors spend a day doing routine checkups before letting me go home.

When I get to my house, I have this nostalgic feeling.

Which is weird obviously because according to my memory, I never left this house.

It just feels as if I haven't been here in 10 years. Everything is giving me the sensation of "oh! I remember this!" And I remember it but it feels like a distant memory.

We're leaving early tomorrow and my parents are completely unwilling to answer any questions.

I end up trying again when I go to my mom's room and see her packing her suitcase for a few days stay. My clothes are at a different house and my parents just want to take me straight to Jisoo, without meeting anyone else after the whole fiasco with Alex.

I cross my arms and lean on the doorframe.

"How long ago did I move out?"

She looks at me. "Right after you finished college. You wanted to pursue your passion in ice skating and we wanted you to have a quiet life. Conflicting ideas so you moved out. We made up a few weeks later and supported you."

I bite my lower lip. "Was I as good as Alex says?"

She laughs. "Jennie. You nearly became the best female ice skater in the world."

Wow. Okay.

"It feels so weird," I say. "To me, I only started ice skating as a hobby because I didn't have anything else to do. I just became comfortable with skating normally. I didn't ever think it would become my career."

My mom chuckles. "You were always ambitious and competitive." Her face becomes sad. "Nothing stopped you from being the best."

I frown. "What happened?"

My mom looks up at me. "Nothing." She smiles. "You accomplished a lot in the last 16 years Jennie." She goes back to packing.

"You don't seem so happy about that," I observe.

She shakes her head. "You lived your life the way that made you happy Jennie." She looks at me. "How can I fault you in that?"

She goes back to packing and I decide to change the topic. "I didn't realize I had anxiety."

My mom nods and starts closing the suitcase. "You developed it over the years. No matter that you lost your memory, your body still reacts the same."

I nod. "How did I know Jisoo?"

She grins and stands up. "I'm not telling you any more Jennie. The doctors said that you had to remember everything on your own. We can't afford to have anything else happen to you." She gives me a light hug and a kiss on the forehead. "Go sleep. We have an early flight."

I nod and kiss her cheek. I turn around and go to my old bedroom and fall into it. The bed is a bit small but I still cozy myself into the covers and close my eyes.

••••••••••

"This can't be happening! This can't—I can't! No!"

"Jennie everything is going to be okay," a female voice says. But I can't see her face. "You'll be okay."

I shake my head and collapse down. The woman catches me in her arms and holds me against her chest. I bury my face into her neck and sob.

"E-Everything's going to be ruined. I lost everything!"