Dream Of You (Jensoo)

Equanimity

Defined as: mental calmness, composure, and evenness of temper, especially in a difficult situation.

••••••••••
I get to the top of the stairs and I see Jisoo coming out of RJ's room. Her gaze turns away and lands on me, anger consumes her face and she almost walks past me but I grab her arm and pull her back in front of me.

I briefly realize that she has strong arms before I hold her gaze. Her expression is fierce.

I pull my hand away. "I'm sorry for whatever I did," I say quietly. "The Jennie that made you feel like this is completely different to who I am now. I'm the Jennie you know from high school."

She doesn't say anything.

I nod. "Okay so your whole Elsa vibe isn't really—"

"Why the fuck do you keep calling me Else?" She asks with annoyance.

I roll my eyes. "You keep not giving me a chance. So I'm telling you that I'm 18-year-old Jennie Kim. Not 34-year-old-super-star-ice-skater Jennie Kim."

Finally I see that anger go from her face. "You're right. I can't be mad at you."

I smile widely.

She rubs her face. "Look. Your parents tell me you're still having panic attacks and I know they get triggered by sudden change—"

"How do you know?" I ask curiously. "How much have you been in my life?"

Jisoo stares at me and doesn't say anything for a few seconds. "As much as I don't like you...." She sighs. "Your parents are right. I'm the only one that's connected to your life the longest in the last 16 years."

"How?" I ask.

She shrugs. "We were friends. I hung out with you a lot."

I nod. "Oh. When we were all living in California?"

She nods and crosses her arms. "I got offered a position here six years ago and moved here. You stayed there for your career."

I sigh. "Okay. Thanks for the few gaps filled but I'm still not....." I roll my eyes. "Jeez! 16 years worth of memories are just....Poof!"

Jisoo nods. "I'll leave you to sleep. Goodnight Jennie."

I give a smile and she walks down the stairs.

I go to my room and flop on the bed, closing my eyes with a deep breath.

••••••••••

I take a deep breath as I do one last push and then lift my leg high and hop back on one foot as it skates me backwards.

I smile as I put my other foot down and skate forward again.

I see a turn in the ice rink and turn backwards as I do a crossover the entire turn before doing a T-stop.

I gasp with a big smile and look in the glass siding to see the baby hairs flying everywhere. I pat them down and I hear someone say, "Hello? Miss?"

I turn around and I see a guy shouting from the other side of the rink.

"We're about to close down! You have to get off the ice!" He shouts.

I look at the digital clock and—oops!

I smile at the guy as I skate towards the door. "Sorry about that! I completely lost track of the time!"

He smiles and closes the door. "I see you a lot during the free skate time. What's your name?"

I hold my hand out. "Jennie Kim."