Dream Of You (Jensoo)

Hiraeth

Defined as: the feeling of being homesick for a home one is not able to return to; homesickness pertaining to a home that never was.

••••••••••
|Jennie|

I haven't had another memory since I stopped dreaming.

It's so strange but I guess I must've blocked out of my memory.

I lift my head up and roll onto my stomach to see Jisoo still completely asleep. I smile and kiss her forehead. I kiss one cheek. Then I kiss the other. I kiss her nose and chin. She doesn't even move to wake up.

I sigh and tap her nose. She doesn't move.

I move my finger across her cheek and down her neck, feeling the smooth skin. I give a small laugh so that I don't wake her up. I trail my finger across her collarbone and start to go to her breast when she opens her eyes and flips me onto my back while I scream.

Jisoo stops my screaming with a kiss as her body lays on top of mine. I hold her jaw and kiss her back.

When she pulls away, I smile as she lifts some of her weight off and looks down at me. She kisses me again. Then again. Then again. I laugh and hold her away but she just attacks my neck with kisses.

I wrap my arms around her neck and pull her closer.

"Jennie...." She says softly and presses a kiss to my collarbone. "I missed you after all these years."

"Jisoo...." I say hesitantly. "I need to tell you something."

She rolls us onto our sides and meets my eyes. She raises a hand to my cheek. "I know Jennie.... You remember everything."

My heart stops. "What?"

Jisoo looks pained. "Why didn't you say anything? You were holding in all this pain by yourself again—"

"Wait Jisoo! No!" I stop her and she looks confused. "I don't remember everything. I only remember until the time I went to a party. I haven't remembered anything else since that moment."

Jisoo's lips part is surprise. "Y-You mean you don't remember why we divorced?"

I shake my head and she surges forward to capture my lips with hers. I widen my eyes as she devours my lips. I flutter my eyes closed and kiss her back just as hard. I press my hand to her back and pull her closer.

She moves away and catches her breath and I do the same.

"I....I'm so happy....but I don't know what to do."

I frown. "What do you mean?"

She looks into my eyes. "Jennie....you went through so much. I don't know if you should remember." She holds my hands in hers and swallows harshly, pain etched on her face. "Aren't you happy now?"

Do I want to know what happened to me? Do I want to know what caused us to move apart?

"What if I just want to know? What if I don't remember anything?"

She shakes her head. "I don't want to risk it. I don't want to lose you again."

"You won't lose me Jisoo. You'll never lose me. I promise. Tell me."

She sighs heavily. "Life wasn't going well after you came from that party. You pushed yourself into your work. You were sick every day. For weeks, you wouldn't tell me because you were afraid I would stop you from skating. You had this....obsession almost to never fail. You wanted to prove people wrong but you were hurting yourself in the process."

"Was so a bad person Jisoo? To you?" I ask.

She shakes her head and strokes my cheek. "No. You weren't. We were just stupid."