"My blue" (SALVIS)

"Church"

-Travis-

TW: ABUSE

I wake up as the sun beams onto my heavily bruised face. Ugh. I can't remember anything from last night...I hear loud echoey knock on my door "Travis it's fucking 5am and your still not ready. Church starts In two hours, get up." My dad...fuck.

I get up and shimmy to the bathroom making sure not to make any noise. I jump into the shower but after, it Still, it still hurts, not like this hasn't happened many times before. I look down at my body "disgrace" I whisper, as that is what my body is...and 100% not because it's carved into my skin.
Its Sunday..the day of rest but here I am. I wobble into my room only covered in a towel that drops down just enough to see my 'V' line.
I look through my wardrobe and put on my regular church clothes, a white button up, with long sleeves since father does not want anyone to see my scars & bruises, baggy black trousers, nothing to special and to make sure I don't get killed I sweep my hair back and pop on my cross necklace and burgundy rosary beads which were my moms.

I tiptoe down the shallow staircase and see my father in the kitchen, and as expected, a bible in his hand. "Good morning son, God has blessed you with another glorious day I see." He says still staring down at the bible with his reading glasses on. He then peeks up with a death glare looking for a response.
"G-good morning sir, God bless you." I say staring down at my dark black socks on the brown creaky floorboards this house of tragedy has to offer, it stays silent for a while, "your breakfast is on the island," I look over and sitting there is eggs and bacon.
"Thank you father." I bring over my plate, pull out the wooden chair and take a seat.
I start to pray, "holy Mary mother of god..." as I finish my prayers I eat my breakfast, not to fast, not to slow, "Thank you father" I get up, wash my plate and just as I step on the wooden stair case I hear "Travis boy." That....that does not sound good.
I gulp..."y-yes father" just as I speak I feel a cold, stingy feeling on my back.
He punched me again.

"Put your shoes on. Your making us late" My father demands, "of course sir," I sprint up the stairs and quickly put my shoes on. I run back down stairs and into the white, shiny Volkswagen where I meet my father.
The car journey is Stressfully quiet, almost, to quiet.
As we reach our destination my father parks In his assigned parking space, We have to get here extra early to great the people. We walk in, it's cold and smells like incense or candles, it's overwhelming.
I hate speaking to people, it's terrible but when I'm at church it's just...well...I don't know, sorta, easier? I realise I've been zoned out.
Me and father get ready, we open the doors fully wide and at 7:30am & everyone shows up, it's mostly old ladies who tell me how handsome I am but there are other kids here too like around my age '17' but I don't think we would get along, I've always had trouble making friends.

After the service was over it was another gut wrenching car journey back home which takes about 20 minutes, the service stays on to about 10am, we also go to services on Saturdays which is very early 5am - 4:30pm I don't usually stay to that time though, since that's all the 'adult stuff' or whatever.
As we get home I take off my dark brown shoes and place them on the cream wood shoe rack. Without saying goodbye to my dad I run up the creaky staircase into my room, my room was small but it brings me comfort with the cream walls, baby blue bedsheets which haven't been washed since who knows when, a cross above my bed, a wardrobe which is made out of mirrors just across from my window which is beside my bed and little nooks and crannies I get settled in and stay in my bed all day, I even skip dinner so at a quarter to 7 I get my pjs on, red and black plaid trousers, fluffy socks and no t-shirt since there is no-one around to see anything.
I shut my blinds to my window and cuddle up into bed looking over at the picture of my mom "she was so pretty" a tear drips down my face, I thought and drifted away.

____________________________________

The next day there is no sun beaming on my face just  the noise of water droplets of cold, wet rain on my window.

- 5:00am -

As the clock reads "just on time," I thought.

I walk into the bathroom once more and shower, the scolding hot water hits the back of my neck and scalp, I wince in pain "at-least I feel something" I realised. It's Monday, the day can see that blue, bug eyed freak. Ugh, "homos, sinners, freaks they're all the same thing just different spelling." I say a little to loud.
I hop out of the shower I had just taking and realise I'm really red which is probably from the heat, it stings.

I walk into my room, my towel the same as yesterday and my hair is a mess, my black hair is growing back at the roots, shit, forget about it and make my way over to my wardrobe once more and swish it open, after a long decision I choose my classical purple sweater which was knitted by my grandma before she passed, my baggy light denim jeans which are wayyyy to big since it shows my belly button, my dark green chunky converse and my cross necklace.

I watch as my hair curls up into little waves, my wavey hair has gotten a little bit longer, it's just past my ear lobe now, "mom would've loved to see my hair now" I thought, before I knew it I was crying.
I miss her, the way she smiled, the way she laughed and especially the way she tucked me in at night.
I go to the bathroom once more and sprinkle my face with water then I brushed my teeth.
I run down stairs and walk into the kitchen, the kitchens bright light and smell of pancakes lighten my mood, Until I see my father, he's standing at the door. Shit I lost track of time.

"Travis, get the fuck over here now faggot."
He says, sending shivers down my spine.
"Y-yes father? I'm very, very sorry. I lost track of time and I-" but before I knew it, his fist collided with my already bruised eye. I'm on the floor, I whimper. "Son, your attendance score is very, very important. What would your mother think!?"
"I-I'm s-sorry sir, it won't happen again" he starts kicking me in the ribs, it's as hard as ever. So much so I can't feel it, it's just numb.

I get up carefully and limp over to get my dark green school bag.

School.

Sorry everyone, this is a little shorter than expected😅