THE HEALER| Heroes of Olympus

V

Everything smelled like poison. Two days after leaving Venice, I still couldn't get the noxious scent of eau de cow monster out of my nose. 

"Feeling any better?" Jasper asked.

He took my hand, his fingers completely covering mine. I couldn't believe how much taller he'd become. His shoulders had broadened. He walked with more confidence.

What Jasper had done on that bridge in Venice ... I was still in awe. None of us had actually seen the battle, but no one doubted it. Jasper's whole bearing had changed.

"I'm – I'm all right," I managed. "You?"

He smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkling. "I'm, uh, taller. Otherwise, yeah. I'm good..." 

"You can be honest with me, I won't judge you." I said. 

Jasper's smile faded into a small frown. He leaned over and hugged me tightly, burying his face into my shoulder. 

"I just..really thought I lost you." He said his voice was shaking. I could tell that wasn't the only thing bothering him. "And...I-I..." His shoulders began to shake. "I'm afraid." 

He voice shook and he sounded ashamed of himself. 

"I'm scared of myself." He said. "When I was killing all those monsters all I could think about was how it made me feel." 

"How did it?" I asked quietly. He pulled away and I saw the pain in his eyes. There were tears threatening to fall and he looked guilty and ashamed. 

"It felt good." The tears fell. "The entire time I just couldn't stop thinking about how easy it was for me to kill all the monsters and...and if those had been real people...how much blood would've been on my hands."

He shook his head and looked away from me. "I feel like a monster." The pain in his voice made my heart ache and my breathing hitch. 

His eyes met mine again and his voice broke. "I think there's something wrong with me. I think I'm broken."

The last part came out a soft whisper. 

I placed my hands on his face and wiped away his tears. 

"Listen to me," I said gently. His tearful eyes lifted up and met mine. "You are not broken."

He sniffled. 

"You are not a monster. You're just Jasper." I said, "Your height may have changed but you didn't."

At first, his new appearance had shocked me. I was worried that his personality had changed as well. But truthfully he hadn't. He was still just Jasper, my War Boy. 

"You're still the same Jasper you've always been. Your favorite color is red, you say you don't like waking up early but you will just so you can watch the sunrise with me. You've lived in California your whole life but you've never gone surfing before. And most importantly you have an amazing girlfriend who cares about you very, very much." 

He half smiled at the end. 

"And she would do anything for you." I said sincerely, "She could watch you take down an entire legion and still stand by your side." 

I took his hand and squeezed it. "And she'll never leave you." 

"This girl sounds pretty amazing." He said his smile returning to his face. 

I smirked. "She's the best."

Suddenly the boat lurched forward.

We tumbled over each other. Jasper accidentally gave me the Heimlich maneuver with his elbow and I curled on the deck, moaning and coughing up the taste of katobleps poison.