Getting Closer

Chapter Forty Five - Charlie

The start of our final semester has been delayed because of a massive cold front hitting Minnesota which has wind chills nearing negative thirty degrees in some areas. While being cooped up with my dad for the day - him not even opening up downstairs because of the cold - I finally put down the cards and say, "We need to talk about mom."

Ever since New Years day, I've been trying to be a better Charlie and that's facing all of my fears. And one of them is talking about my feelings and facing unbearable uncomfortableness. Dad lays a card on the table and says, "Go fish."

I stare at him and wonder if that's where I got it from, the not-talking-about-my-feelings thing. I frown and reiterate, "I'm not a kid anymore, dad. Was there trouble when I didn't even notice something wrong?"

He sniffs. "Your mother wasn't happy here. She wanted out. That's it."

"Was it because of your diagnosis? Was it money problems?"

"It was a lot of things, Charlie," he sighs. "A lot that I do not want to remember and a lot I do not want to explain to you."

"Dad-"

"Look Charlie. What happened with me and your mom is messy and years of pressure building up."

"But what does that mean?" I ask, getting more desperate for an explicit answer.

He sighs and looks me dead in the eyes before saying, "Go fish."

"Dad-"

"Go. Fish."

Knowing that I won't win in this situation, I pick up my cards again and stay silent the rest of the day.

***

When we're finally called back to school, Max and I race into the school before our asses freeze outside. After cursing like a couple of sailors in the 1930s, we head to our lockers and recoup for a bit before we have to socialize once again. I've been dreading seeing Kate again and have been wondering if she heard I was with a girl in that time she was in California.

But if somehow she hasn't heard, then maybe I can live with myself and beg for her forgiveness.

Suddenly, Seth comes into view and shoves his shit into his locker. Throwing his Vikings hat into the locker, he turns to Max and I and asks, "Why the fuck do we live here again?"

Max laughs while I comment, "Because our parents live here."

"Well why the fuck do they live here then?"

Both Seth and Max look to one another and Max voices the thought between them. "Maybe we can visit your mom Charlie in Florida."

I punch the bastard in his arm for that. "Fuck off. Why don't we go to your dad's then?"

After the words leave my mouth, I immediately regret it. Max stares at me with pure anger in his eyes enough so that Seth has to come between us. "Okay boys, calm down," he says as he throws his arms over our shoulders. "No need to be so frisky in the morning."

"Sorry," we both mumble at the same time.

"Alright fuckers," Seth says to us both. "No fighting this year. This year is our year and we aren't spending our time being petty with one another. Do you hear me?" Max and I nod. "Good. Now there's a party this weekend..."

"You need to cool it with these parties," I groan. "Anyways, I think I'm partied out."

"Hey, who knows," Max says, "we could get you another one night stand at this party too."

"Shut up," I say to him then turn my focus to Seth. "And no party this weekend. Maybe in a couple weeks but not so soon after you puked on Jon's boots."

Seth looks shocked. "I did not puke on Jon's... boots..." He stares in between us and it slowly dawns on him. "Was I that fucked up that night?"

"You were bud," Max says and pats Seth on his chest.

"We barely got you back into Jon's truck," I say remembering how hard it was to drag him back along with a drunk Jules. "You always take it too far."

Seth gasps. "I do not!"

"You do," Max agrees with me.

"Okay, if I promise not to drink on Saturday night, then will you join me?"

"No," I say.

Seth groans. "Come on Evans. Be the best pal in the world and join me."

I sigh. "You know I shouldn't. Especially this semester."

Seth nods, realizing how close the season is for us. "Fuck. I always forget how much of a jock you are and fucking talented." Seth pauses and looks me in the eyes before asking, "So have you decided what you want? College or the majors?"

I pull away from my friends and dig in my locker for the textbooks I need for the three periods I have in a row before lunch. "You're assuming I'm still good this year."

"That's not an answer," Seth returns with.

I can feel their eyes studying me but I try not to seem so put on the spot. "I don't know. That's my answer."

In the corner of my eyes, I see Max narrow his eyes at me but keeps his mouth shut. But thankfully, I can always rely on Seth for moving on the conversation whenever it slows or grows uncomfortable between us. "Alright boys. What's the schedule look like for our final semester?" I snort and pull out the schedule and immediately he snatches the paper from me. "We have to be lab partners for Chem," he says as if we all didn't go through our schedules last night.

Max rolls his eyes as he has no classes with us. "Alright fuckers, I'll see you later for lunch right?"

"Yeah man," Seth says as he gives me my schedule back. "My mom packed bulgogi for me today."

Max smiles. "Can't wait."

I turn to Seth after watching Max saunter down the hall and I hit him in the arm. While he complains I say, "I know we dick around with one another but don't fucking bring up my mom like that."

"One: that was Max. Two-"

"I know you were thinking it too," I snap. "I don't find it funny at all."

"Okay, okay. I get it." Shutting my locker, Seth wraps his arm around me again. "Alright, mi amigo. Let's start this miserable semester off by blowing shit up in the chem lab."

I laugh. "Please don't go near any chemicals."

"No promises."

***

Getting to the last class of the day, I glance around the room to see if I know anybody in here. I see a couple of guys from baseball but because they're not sitting together, that must mean...

Assigned seats. Great.

I turn to the board to see that I'm seated near the door in between people that I have never talked to in my entire life. I try not to seem so disappointed as I'm so far away from the others that I do know but I got to suck it up.

I nod to the girl on my right as I get settled as I vaguely recognize her from years of going to school together but when I turn to the girl on my left... I have never seen her before and I'm struck at how gorgeous she is. I feel like I should know who she is but yet my mind runs blank. Glancing back at the board, her name doesn't ring a bell either.

When Mrs. Roy starts her class, my stupid dumb boy brain can't turn off. I just want to know her, talk to her, see what her mouth feels like....

Jesus Christ, Charlie, what the hell is wrong with you, I curse at myself.

But then Mrs. Roy announces that we're going to do ice breakers and I'm paired with the girl I can't stop thinking about. When I turn to her, I swear to god my heart stops for a moment. She stares at me as I fumble for words. "Charlie," I blurt out like a lunatic. "I'm Charlie."

One corner of her lip rises. She holds out her hand for me to take and while I'm staring at that hand she says with the sweetest voice I've ever heard, "I'm Leia."