Married by Contract

Thirty Four

Thirty Four

After we watch the sunset pareho kaming dumiretso sa restaurant ng resort. Halos lahat ng tao galing sa dalampasigan ay naroon. Magkaharap kami ni Stanley, he look at me the whole time while the ghost of smile is in his lips. Mula yata ng sinabi ko ang tunay kong nararamdaman ay hindi na niya ako tinigilan sa kakatitig. I narrowed my eyes at him. Pilit na niliko ang tingin sa ibang bagay, then I saw a family on the other table. They look happy while the parents are playing with their children. The youngest one is a toddler and the older one is I think 5 years old? They are busy watching some kids' shows on youtube. I saw how his Daddy look at them passionately, while the mother is busy entertaining their youngest.

Simula bata pa ako, I long for a complete family. I am always jealous to my classmate that time. I vividly remember all my insecurities for not having a complete family. Namulat akong si Tito lang ang naging magulang ko, hindi kailan nararanasan kung paano magmahal ang totoong ina at ama. Sa sobrang sama ng loob ko sa nagpatong-patong na tanong sa utak about not having a complete family, sinarili ko ang lahat. I didn't even dare to ask my Tito who is my real parents is. All I know is Tito is a good friend of my Mom kaya siya ang nagpalaki sa akin.

Sa nagdaang taon nawalan na rin ako ng interes na tanungin kung sino sila or nasaan sila. Sobrang nakontento na ako sa pagmamahal ni Tito na umabot sa puntong nawalan na ako ng interes na hanapin pa sila. But now that I am married, parang biglang bumukas ang isip ko about sa kanila. What really happened to them? Bakit hindi kami buo? The family should consist a Mom and Dad and its child. Bakit mag-isa lang ako? Where are my parents? What is their reason for abandoning me? Are they still alive?

May marahang kamay ang humaplos sa aking pisngi as I was lost in my thoughts. Malungkot akong tumingin sa kanya.

"What are you thinking?" He said sweetly. Nalulungkot ang mukha sa nakitang emosyon ko. Tipid akong ngumiti at napalipat ang tingin sa pamilyang pinagmamasdan ko kanina.

"You know..." Pauna ko at hindi nilisan ang tingin sa mag-anak. "Back then, I was always jealous of my classmate who has a complete family." Tipid akong ngumiti sa kanya pabalik. "I always thought that a family only consisted of a kid and 1 adult just like...us." I paused. "Pero nang unti-unti na akong nag-kakaisip, hindi pala!" I swallowed hard, pilit na itinatago ang pait sa ngiti. "But despite having so many questions at a young age about myself, I put all that aside. After all, I am well loved by my Tito." Lumapit siya ng bahagya sa akin at niyakap ako ng mahigpit. I felt how sad his embrace was. How pure his love is despite having these thoughts in my head, how I am so broken in terms of having a not complete family. I want to build a life with him. I am afraid, yes! Because I don't know how that is? How can I be a mother to his children If I never received that kind of love? But I want to try, I want to give the Mother's love that I never felt before. With him as my partner, I know I can do it.

Biglang namuo ang luha sa mata ko habang mahigpit pa rin ang yakap niya sa akin. I chuckled at my train of decision. Unti-unting kumalas ang yakap niya at tinignan ako ng nagsusumamo. Pinunasan niya ang mga luhang namuo sa gilid ng aking mata. Habang ginagawa niya 'yun, hindi maalis ang tingin ko sa mukha niyang malungkot para sa akin.

I kissed his cheeks, hindi na napigilan. And I gave him the warm smile that I could give.

"After we solve all our issues. Lets build your dreams." Kumunot ang noo niya sa sinabi ko. I smile warmly while my eyes drifted on his kissable lips. "Let's plan everything. I want to build your home, lets' build it." Isang mahigpit ulit na yakap ang ginawad niya sa akin. He even kissed my hair so I feel his over happiness because of what I said.

"I am so happy Embry. Sobra sobra ito sa inaasahan ko sayo. I love you." I giggle at his excitement.

I am so happy but having this kind of happiness felt like a dream. I know that being this happy is a sin... and just when I thought that I am dreaming. Bigla akong sinampal ng totoong reyalidad at problema ng matapos ang limang araw naming honeymoon. Kapit na kapit ako kay Stanley habang bumababa sa chopper. Nasa rooftop deck kami ng tower niya. He said that all my things have already been transferred to his unit. Hindi kalayuan sa chopper, kitang-kita ko na ang nag-aabang na Tito at Aia with an envelop in their hands.