best friend | gyuricky

08 \ drunk in love

"What truth?" Ricky is now more than nervous. What the fuck was Gyuvin hiding from him? Gyuvin contemplated, he glanced over at Ricky and then back to his own lap.

"Say something, Kim Gyuvin."

Gyuvin cleared his throat before speaking. "I..." He hesitated. He's unsure himself too. Should he let Ricky know about his uncertainty for his feelings about Ricky?

"I don't know, Ricky. I just.. I think I'm confused."

"Gyuvin. Stop beating around the bush. Get straight to the point now." Ricky's tone was domineering, scaring the younger boy. "Every time I get together with her to do what couples would do, I feel uneasy. I kept thinking about someone else."

"Like even when we agreed to date each other for the first time, I considered how that someone would feel if they found out about us. And also, as the relationship progressed, I kept thinking about that certain someone. It's as if dating her was wrong. I tried to ignore that stupid feeling and I decided to put in all my effort into my relationship with her." Gyuvin continues, chuckling a little after he finishes his sentence.

"And I lost it all completely. Because I decided to put in all my effort."

It seems so clear now. This someone is no one other than Ricky.

"She almost kissed me. But I moved away, because I remembered that someone. It didn't felt right kissing her." Gyuvin says, his face feels flushed. Gosh, why is he even telling Ricky these? Ricky is so smart, he will definitely figure that someone out.

And once he does, will their friendship end here?

Ricky keeps quiet. He wants Gyuvin to continue speaking his mind, he wants to know how Gyuvin feels all this while. "So, this is the truth. I'm using her as a way to deny my feelings for that someone."

Gyuvin could not even take a look at Ricky because of how embarrassed he feels. Ricky, feeling the same too. This is too sudden, a little overwhelming for Ricky.

What do you mean Gyuvin had to deny his feelings for this person? So Gyuvin had feelings for Ricky too? Ricky kind of gets the idea now, but he doesn't want to reveal it to Gyuvin. He doesn't want Gyuvin to feel embarrassed any further.

"Gyuvin, it's okay to feel this way. I'm sorry about that." Ricky starts, avoiding eye contact with Gyuvin. "I promise to be by your side this time. I won't let you go through all these alone." Gyuvin looks up to see Ricky already looking at him.

"I mean it, Gyuvin."

"Thanks Ricky."

——

Things went back to normal because Gyuvin said to forget all about his rants. Although Ricky had agreed, he did not actually forget about it. It was like a confession but not really. Maybe Gyuvin is just really mixed up about how he feel. 

"Ricky! Look, I've got some drinks. Zhang Hao gave them to me for free, you want to try?" Gyuvin asks, shaking the bag of drinks he held in front of Ricky. "Ah, don't these things give you a huge headache the next day?" 

Gyuvin paused for a while but decided it was not that serious anyways. "It's literally Friday today, it's the weekend." Gyuvin places the drinks on the table and slowly takes them out one by one. "You do know that one bottle is enough right?" 

"You only live once. Let's challenge ourselves!" 

"Gyuvin, what you're challenging is literally your fucking liver." Ricky sighs. Does he really want to try that dangerous looking liquid? Whatever, Gyuvin was already trying it out and he seemed normal.