ditto | woosan

my story ended here

wooyoung's point of view.

so...

spoiler alert! i'm dead now. well, nearly.
pretty dramatic of me, i know.

the day my moms told me i was schizophrenic, i didn't know what was real anymore.

i threw my camcorder before i jumped. even if that stupid thing didn't pick up san's face, i know i saw it.
real or not, it doesn't change the fact that i fucking loved that boy.

call me a hopeless romantic or whatever, but killing myself over that wasn't romantic at all. it's just depressing, really.

but anyway,
that day i went back to our lake.
yeah, OUR lake.
it was our fucking lake.
i debated on breaking the ice and drowning myself, but i pussied out. i feel like drowning is even more embarrassing than jumping off a bridge.

listen, san wasn't the only reason i killed myself. turns out hongjoong and seonghwa weren't real either, which stabbed me pretty hard too.

i gave it some thought, and i realised the cat i kept fucking seeing everywhere wasn't real either. shocker, right?

but the cat really resembled gigi. but i knew gigi, they were different for sure.

to this day, i still have no idea why i kept seeing a cat.

maybe the cat and san are linked in some way.

think about it. san fucking disappeared but the cat didn't.

oh, and the sweater san gave me? that was a dream..

i think.

i think dreamt most of my life.

after all, what's real and what's not anymore?
stupid question to ask someone as fucked up as i am, right?

my life would make a good story or something.
the moral would be..

don't renact romeo and juliet because you found out you're schizophrenic ..

or something.

i hope my school gets some pity points after having one of their students kill himself.

i always wondered why everyone gave me weird looks when i filmed my friends. it makes sense now.
because i was filming and laughing at nothing.

just a void.

now i've entered that same void.

seriously, being in a coma feels like being in a psych ward but a hundred times worse.
i went to one when i was 8 years old because i cut myself over my friends 'leaving' which SUCKS because i wasted my precious blood over some kids that weren't even real.
well, that precious blood is now splattered over the road of the motorway. i wonder if i got hit by a car too.

manslaughter and suicide with no note.

i wonder if san is real in another universe.
i hope we're together in that universe.

i think i'm finally dying now.

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A/N

thank you for reading!!
i know the plot was shit, no need to tell me

were your theories right?? i wanna know

stream ditto by newjeans 🫶
this story was heavily inspired by the m/vs storyline, at least it was my interpretation of it.

~ will ♡