Dear Laura 2

Chapter 5

I waited for Emma next to her car when it was time to go home. The ride was silent because the nerves were getting the best of me. I bounced my leg up and down the entire ride.

"Hey, you've got this. It's going to be okay. And like I said before, you are going to be an awesome mom." Emma said to me just as we got to the parking lot. I thanked her with a nod. I could not get myself to say anything.

"Do you want me to go in with you?" She asked as I opened the door.

"No. I will be okay. Thanks." I managed to say with a hoarse voice.

"Well, I will be here when you get back." She reassured me with a gentle tone.

I took deep breaths as I made my way to the reception. Flashbacks of the last time I was in a hospital forcefully made their way into my mind, worsening the anxiety that had already claimed my brain. That was the day Abdul told me that I had no self-worth, the day he told me how obsessive I was being. The day that resulted in me losing my job and almost taking a flight back to the US. It was one of the worst days of my life.

"Hello." The receptionist snapped her fingers in front of my face to snap me back to reality. I did not realize that I was already at the reception. It felt like I blacked out and lost time.

"Uh, hi sorry. I have an appointment with Dr Naidoo."

"Name?"

"Mia Johnson." I told her. She perused through her files to find my name.

"Oh, right here. You're right on time. Will you be paying with cash, or you have a medical aid?"

"Cash." I responded. My heart continued to hammer as I spoke to her.

"Okay. It's your third room on the right. You can come pay once you get out." She pointed to the said room, and I nodded.

I knocked before I entered and waited for her to tell me to come in and she did within seconds. She tried to break the ice with small talk, but I just wanted to get it over and done with. I did not want to chit chat, because until I told Abdul about the pregnancy, all it reminded me of was the guilt I carried due to keeping that enormous secret.

"Is this your first appointment Mia?" I nodded.

"Okay. Let me walk you through what we will be doing today. I will draw your blood to run tests. Do you know your blood type?" I shook my head no.

"It's no problem. I will let you know after the tests. I will test for any STIs and also do a pap smear to check if there are no abnormalities. I will also need a urine sample to check for signs of UTI. And lastly, perform an ultrasound so you can see your developing foetus." That's a lot of things to do and listening to her mention them was just making me even more anxious by the minute.

"It's not too soon for an ultrasound?" I asked through the noise in my head.

"How far along are you?"

"Eight weeks. I think." I lowered my head in shame.

"Then no, it's not too soon. It's basically a baby with feet and hands at this point. You'll hear a heartbeat too." The thought of hearing his or her heartbeat calmed me down. There was something soothing about looking forward to something like that. It quieted down all the noise in my head.

"Let us get started then." She said.

She did everything she said she would, in chronological order. I had to wait a few minutes before I felt like peeing though, peeing on command was so hard. She did the pap smear too. That was super uncomfortable judging from the fact that it was my first time. The only part I was excited for was the ultrasound and luckily, she saved the best for last.

The gel was cold against my skin. I sucked in a breath to prepare for what laid ahead. She looked at me with a smile then told me to look at the monitor.

"Oh my word that's my baby." The first thing I saw was the big head, then the small hands. The smile that was on my face would not disappear. It stayed there until my cheeks hurt.

"That's your baby." A few seconds later she told me to listen. The tiny tympanic heartbeat made the fact that I was growing life inside of me so realistic, I teared up at the sound of it.

"Healthy as a horse." Dr Naidoo told me.

With the stress that I was incurring on the daily, it was a miracle that the baby was healthy and that there were absolutely no complications thus far. I was grateful for the miracle. I was going to be a mother. My heart leaped at the thought of that. There was somebody new that made my heart leap the way Abdul did. He better watch out. I already felt a connection to the kid. I could not wait to see him or her running around my place. I could not wait to see the magic that Abdul and I created, the integration of our gorgeous features into one little gorgeous, special little human.

"I love you." I said to the special human that was forever making me feel bloated and sick.

"We're done." Dr Naidoo said as she wiped the gel off my abdomen. "Your results will be back tomorrow, and I will make sure to email them to you. And as for you, I will see you in four weeks time."

"Thank you." I said before exiting her office.

I made my way to the reception to pay for my consultation then went to Emma who obviously asked me how it went. I told her how nerve-wrecking it was until I heard the little human's heartbeat and saw his little limbs. She was happy for me. I also texted Beth to let her know how everything went.

Just as we got to our apartment building, our jaws dropped to the floor when we saw Abdul carrying a big bouquet of what look like a thousand red roses. He was standing in front of an unfamiliar car. He must had bought another one, he treated car shopping how I treated clothes shopping. The money was nothing to him. For once he bought himself a car I loved.

I looked at Emma with shock. She shrugged and told me to get out of the car.

"Hey. What's going on?"

"I owe you flowers, remember?" He said with a smile.

"Aw thank you." I took them from him then gave him a gentle peck on the lips.

"And this madame is yours." He handed me the keys to the white Mercedes-AMG CLA 45 S 4Matic that was behind him.

There was no way he happened to know my favourite brand, the preferred colour and the precise model that drove me insane to the core. I was not car crazy but the first time I saw that car, I instantly went crazy. It was actually in a movie, and I had been obsessed ever since. The only person I told this to was Thabang when I saw his Mercedes.

I placed my hand on my face and tried to blink the tears that were threatening to spill away. I had mentioned not having a car less than twelve hours ago and that man went and bought one for me. I was so happy to be carrying his kid at that moment. I picked right.

"How did you know? How did you know I loved this car." I could not believe what I was seeing. Every part of me wanted to scream for joy. He told me that Thabang mentioned it once when they were having a random chat about their partners, and he just never forgot.

"I don't have a licence to drive here though."

"Your lessons are booked, and you will go test in a week. You know how to drive; you dont need that much practicing right? Your lessons start tomorrow around four. I'm assuming you'll be done with work?" I nodded in excitement. He thought everything out, just like he usually did.

I gave him a tight hug. Emma congratulated me. Beth would freak if she heard how that man was taking care of me. I thanked him again and he told me that it was nothing. He was so thoughtful.

What do you mean he made sure that my lessons were booked? And what do you mean I would be driving my brand-new baby in two weeks time? What do you mean he treated me like that when we were not even a couple yet?

"Let's go upstairs so you can thank me properly." He whispered in my ear, and I giggled before saying goodbye to Emma, telling her I would see her the next day.