Dear Laura 2

Chapter 23

Abdul got to Malik's house at five the next morning. My bags were already packed, and I was ready to leave. I wasn't exactly looking forward to it but in all honesty, amongst all the anger and the bitterness, there was a part of me that missed being held and loved by that man. For whatever love meant to him of course. Beth was asleep and I did not want to wake her up, and I did not want her to meet him, so I left her a note in her bedroom.

"I am so happy to see you." He told me and I pursed my lips.

"Why the tension? Didn't you miss me?" He was driving like we had nine lives.

"You left me when I needed you the most. Not once, but twice. You bailed on me Abdul. I lost a child, and I got assaulted in one week. It did not even end there, I found out my brother passed away. So, excuse me if I am not happy to see the cause of my anguish." I was sort of happy to see the cause of my anguish. Talk about lack of self-love huh.

"You were pregnant, and you kept it from me, yet you want to play victim? When are you wrong? I deserved to know about that kid. I lost it too. And I bailed on you that day because I felt betrayed. How could you hide that from me, how can I trust you? And it triggered the emotions I felt when Hope did something similar, there was just a lot to process Mia. You are not the only one in pain. I would never have beaten you if I knew you were pregnant."

"You shouldn't have hit me at all Abdul. That's not normal behaviour. You can't excuse causing my miscarriage."

"Okay. I am sorry for hitting you. You did not deserve it. I just did not like how you were talking to that guy, it made me feel angry and jealous and like I would lose you. On top of you almost cheating. We both experienced hardships in this relationship and we hurt each other. I am sorry for my part, and I want us to start over. I will consider forgiving you for hiding the pregnancy from me." He still believed that I almost cheated with the plumber. I didn't have the energy to convince him otherwise.

"I love you, Mia. And I think we should go sign. And to prove how dedicated I am to make this work; I will not request a pre-nup. I am all in baby. I love you. You just need to be a little more trustworthy. "

My weak heart fluttered. I knew I was done for. I did not have the strength to fight his charisma and affections. I was still angry, but I wanted to give us another chance. I felt guilty for hiding the pregnancy from him and thought we were even because of it. That I wasn't a saint, so we both deserved a clean slate. I was delusional. He must had rubbed off on me.

"I wanted to name her Amira. And if it was a boy, he would be Abdul Junior or Cairo. I am sorry I did not tell you. When I was about to, you said you wanted to marry Hope. And after that, I never got the chance. I thought you would leave me."

"I would never. But don't worry, we can make another one."

"I am not emotionally ready for that. I am still grieving Abdul. Losing him or her took a toll on me."

"I am sorry for being insensitive baby. We will figure this out together." He held my hand and gently rubbed it.

I felt a different kind of peace. The walls that I spent two months building were slowly falling apart at his touch. I thought I would be able to handle myself, but he still had a kind of power that I could not comprehend. The emptiness I had been feeling was slowly dissipating. Like I said, only he could pull me out of the abyss.

The flight back to South Africa felt short. The house brought back so many horrible flashbacks. I felt panic creep up on me. Abdul held my hand and I felt safe again.

"We can move if you want."

"I think I would like that." I told him. The building had too many bad memories that we needed to leave in the past.

....
A month later, he came to pick me up so that we could go sign. I did not think my decision was stupid and haste at the time. There was a part of me that was looking forward to the day he would change. The month we spent together was great, so I was excited about marrying him.

As I stood outside the courthouse, wearing a simple, classic, knee-length white dress with delicate lace detailing on the bodice and sleeves, the weight of the moment settled over me like a warm blanket. I could not believe that it was the day Abdul, and I would become husband and wife. I could not help but feel a mix of nerves and excitement coursing through me as we prepared to exchange our vows in front of his associate and the judge.

Abdul stood besides me, his hand gently squeezing mine, offering silent reassurance. We stepped through the courthouse doors, ready to embark on this new chapter of our lives. The air was tinged with anticipation as we made our way to the small ceremony room.

As we took our place before the officiant, I could not help but steal glances at my gorgeous brown soon-to-be husband, feeling grateful that he was choosing to spend the rest of his life with me.

As the ceremony began, time seemed to slow, each word spoken by the officiant carrying weight and significance. When it was time to exchange our vows, I looked into Abdul's eyes, feeling a surge of emotion as I spoke the words that would bind us together.

"Until death do us part." Abdul said and tears rushed to my eyes.

With the exchange of rings, our union was sealed and then we shared our first kiss as husband and wife.

The following day, we took his private jet to the Maldives for our honeymoon. The pristine beaches and crystal-clear waters welcomed us with open arms, offering the perfect backdrop for our romantic getaway. We explored the islands hand in hand, immersing ourselves in the beauty of our surroundings and the joy of being together.

We were there for two weeks, and he only hit me three out of those fourteen days. And just like that, I was starting to feel trapped and resentful. Because he was the destroyer of paradise, hell-bent on making everything about him, including our honeymoon. He couldn't wait until we were back home to show me what crap I had signed up for when I put my signature on that paper.

Why did I think being his wife meant that the worst would be over? Why did I love him despite his toxicity?

Besides those three days, I did enjoy our honeymoon.